Yanks, Sawx

This is it, as it always seems to, the Major League baseball season has boiled down to one inevitable truth; The Yankees versus the Red Sox is the most storied and talked about rivalry in the history of sports. And it is the most sustained dramatic episode in the landscape of the sporting world, the most current incarnation of which has stretched over the past 8-10 years. You can give me all the rhetoric in the world, “just a typical northeast bias,” “nobody outside of Yanks and Sawx fans really care,” “it is fall and football is what matters,” “nobody really likes baseball anymore.” I have one word for all of that, BULLSHIT.

Everyone here takes a side, there is no middle ground. It is not unlike President Bush’s declaration shortly after September 11 “You are either with the terrorists, or you are with us, no distinction will be made.” Now you can call the Yankees the “terrorists” in this equation or the “Evil Empire.” Call them what you want, as long as the games matter that is all Yankee fans care about. Nobody is calling the Royals anything, why, they don’t play games that matter.

Baseball is steeped in the tradition of each city where these teams have played for such a long time. Yes there are great rivalries in football, both pro and college, and in basketball, but not like this. The teams virtues and values are engrained within the people who surround the stadium and buy the tickets. They bleed the colors their team wears. Ask Red Sox fans what last year felt like; I know one Sox fan who claimed that his life was now complete, and this was an intelligent learned man. Not just some dumb Irishmen from Waltham.

Oh, you want to try and disagree that this is the single most important sporting event since the last time these two teams met last fall? Well then think about this, who won the World Series two years ago? Kind of hard to remember, the Marlins did. Can you visualize anything that happened in that Marlins series, can you close your eyes and see one moment from that series? No, you can’t. What happened in the ALCS that year? The Yanks beat the Sawx on Aaron Boone’s walk off homerun into the Bronx night. Now close your eyes, you can see Boone running to first arms outstretched. Last year, the Sawx beat the Cardinals in the World Series. How many people actually watched that series? Well according to the ratings not nearly as many as watched the ALCS. What happened in the ALCS? The Sawx became the first team to come back from an 0-3 hole. Can you close your eyes and see anything that happened in the Cardinals series? No, but you can close your eyes and see Curt Schilling, ketchuped sock and all, mowing down the Yankees one by one, and the Johnny Damon’s game 7 homeruns.

This series is also important for one more reason; it will most likely determine who will be named MVP in the American League. Now we all know I love A-Rod and always have, but I also love Big Papi, how could you not? I have been a supporter of Big Papi all season for MVP. Recently, however, A-Rod has picked up his play and really started coming through in some important spots, and then you look at the fact that in the last 90 games he has only made 1 error you think, hey maybe he should be the MVP. Then the Bell tolled one last time for Big Papi. His team down a full game going into the night and after seeing the Yankees had won against Baltimore he shifted gears into MVP mode. All he did was tie the game with his 47th homerun of the season. That became the 20th time that Ortiz had tied the game or given his team the lead with a homerun this season. Then in the bottom of the ninth he strolled to the plate and took a slider the other way for the game winning hit. His teams season was on the line, everything, the defense of their World Championship was gone, the Yankees had a 2 game lead with three to play. Impossible for the Sawx to get a sweep like that, but indeed they did not have to, because Papi raised up and drove in another huge run for the Sawx

Yanks, Sawx, it always comes down to this, it is the only thing that matters.

UPDATE

Let's go to Keeley Shay Smith in the update center.

Okay, that was an old Unsolved Mysteries joke.

Anywho, publishing of "The Wisdom" is taking a backseat this week. Things are very hectic and my fuel is running low, I need more cowbell!!! Next publishing will be on Monday, look for the baseball playoff preview as well as postseason awards to be given out. Yes Ortiz is still leading in the AL MVP balloting here at the home office, but the NL may have a surprise winner. All that, plus a look back at the first month of the football season, or as Jets fans are referring to it (and fat guys who picked the Jets to be good) Judgement Day.

Peace

KD

On Campus 9/24

5 Games to Watch

Arkansas v Alabama- To quote Mike Price, “It’s rollin’ baby!!” The Tide are flying high after dismantling South Carolina in their own backyard and look to continue there winning ways back home in Tuscaloosa. They face a Razorback team that is reeling after a home loss to Vanderbilt and an embarrassing performance at Southern Cal. But Houston Nutt’s Arkansas teams always have one or two upset inside of them every year. This could be just the game, with the Tide looking ahead to a showdown with the Gators next week. Nutt’s job is in serious jeopardy if he continues to lose, so look for an inspired performance from the Hogs.

Boston College v Clemson- This game is about three plays away from being a match-up of top 15 teams, instead neither team is ranked. Both schools lost close home games last weekend against powerful ACC teams from Florida. The Tigers seem to feel as if they have something to prove, even though they were a Charlie Whitehurst overthrow away from upsetting the Canes for the second straight year. This is a game between ACC Atlantic Division opponents so another conference loss here will crush the hopes of playing for the ACC title in Jacksonville. I think BC defense will be the key to this game, if they can slow down Clemson’s running attack they will win the game, but if the Clemson backs get off like they did in the first two games of the year they will show BC why it is called Death Valley.

Michigan v Wisconsin- Barry Alvare and the Badgers come in with a high powered running attack (6th in the country), led by Junior RB Brian Calhoun. Michigan is still feeling the effects of that loss to Notre Dame, even thought last week the rolled easily over Eastern Michigan. Against a tough Badger defense in Camp Randall and without Sophomore Tailback Mike Hart the Wolverine offense will be challeneged. Quarterback Chad Henne must come with his best stuff in order to score in this one. Michigan has a lot to prove in this game and the Badgers are flying under the radar which suites Coach Alvarez just fine. Look for the Badgers to control the ball on the ground and grind out a win.

Tennessee v LSU- What did Tennessee do to the SEC to deserve this? Back to back trips to the Swamp and Death Valley to face the Bayou Bengles. The Vols come off a tough road loss at Florida and now have to face a team that has fought through a lot more than football in the last few weeks. This is LSU’s first home game and playing in Baton Rogue is never a picnic. Coach Phillip Fulmer will find out real fats if either one of his Quarterbacks can get it done. With the hostile crowd and the lack of production from the Vols offense I see a big win for the Tigers, but new coach Les Myles will have to have his team ready, because Fulmer’s crowd could come in here on high gear after last weeks game. (Note: This Game has been moved to Monday he 26th because of Hurricane Rita)

Notre Dame v Washington- Can you believe it, Charlie Weis and Notre Dame actually lost a game last week! Who knew they were actually fallable? Now Weis takes his Fightin Irish all the way across the country to Puget Sound to take on the Washington Huskies. This game has one minor subplot, Tyrone Willingham (former ND coach) is now the coach for the Huskies. This guy was given the biggest kick in the ass by Notre Dame, being fired after three seasons. Basically, the rich white alumni didn’t like having the darkie around. But they of course will tell you that it was because his team failed expectations on the field. What about off the field? Where the graduation rate was rising, and no football players were getting in anymore trouble? Oh, that’s right schools don’t really care about that, they just say they do. So now Willingham has his time for revenge, and while I think his team is totally outmatched talent-wise I think they can and will pull of the upset for their coach. Willingham handled his firing from Notre Dame with class and has said that this game means no more or less and that he has nothing against Notre Dame. That is a man with class and I will root for that man any day, rather than a University who praises frauds like Lou Holtz.

4 Players to Watch

Dwayne Jarrett, USC- Perhaps the most underrated player in the country, and definitely the forgotten man on his own team. While Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush get all the hype, Jarett (a 6’5 220lb Junior WR) catches touchdowns. As a freshman last season, stepping in for departed Mike Williams, Jarett had 13 TD’s and this year may shatter that as he already has 5 through 2 games. This week USC looks to shoot it out with Oregon in Autzen Stadium. Look for Jarett to have a few more big catches as the Trojans remain undefeated.

Marques Hagans, Virginia- It seems as if Hagans has been there forever, and this Wahoo team is now all his. Hagans is a duel threat ran for over 100 yards last week at Syracuse. However, he is still shaky throwing the ball having tossed 5 int’s and only 2 TD’s through the first two games. Hagans must begin to show improvement as UVA opens it’s ACC slate with perennial cellar dweller Duke. Hagans is the key to the Wahoo’s making any noise in the deep and talented ACC.

Muhammad Abdullah, Kentucky- Abdullah is a little known player by most, even in the southeast. He is a two time all conference performer at safety and has the unenviable task of marking Chris Leak this week. Leak has lost on of his receiving weapons for the season, so he may be looking over the middle for the TE which is right were Abdullah will be all afternoon. Abdullah is an excellent run stopper and has the cover skills of a corner (his original position). Abdullah’s ability to control the middle of the field may help Kentucky keep this game within arms length.

Laurence Maroney, Minnesota- Maroney is the powerful tailback leading the charge of the Golden Gophers. Through three games he has racked up a staggering 481 yard (7.1 a carry) and 6 TD’s. This week Maroney goes up against a new and improved Boilermaker defense. Minnesota will try to keep the Purdue offense off the field so look for Maroney to get his share of carries.

3 Lines to take

Penn State is favored by 7.5 points at Northwestern. Though the Wildcats have gotten off to a relatively good start, I would still take Joe Pa’s boys to cover that one easily.

Virginia Tech may get tested at home this week by Georgia Tech. However, G-Tech’s tarting QB, Reggie Ball, may miss the game. I say take V-Tech laying the 11.5 points.

And in the surprise pick of the week, take Colorado to cover the 14 at Miami. Every instinct in my body tells me to take Miami in a route, so that is why I say take Colorado.

The Daily Nooner

Whoa, things are beginning to tighten up a little in the AL East. The noose around the neck of the Sawx is getting uncomfortable. The Yankees have begun to play very good baseball lately and they have gotten some pitching from an unusual suspect like Randy Johnson. Not including the game he got thrown out of, in his 3 September starts Johnson has given up 4 earned runs and 11 hits in 21.1 innings. The Yankees are still getting solid pitching from Small & Chacon and Moose comes off the DL tonight. Things look very positive for them heading into the final week of the season. But things do come down to three days in Fenway.

Barry Lamar Bonds is still better than you. This guy, with no spring training to speak of, is shooting balls out of the park already. Most figured he might come back and not really be that good, having missed all year with a knee injury. However, in just 8 games he has already hit 4 homeruns and is slugging .909. This guy is so good it is scary. Once he gets time to fully rehab this knee and comes back next year he again can probably get upwards of 50 homeruns, which by my calculations would push him past Hank Aaron.

In local sports news, those in Gamecock nation are abandoning ship faster than a Tibetan sherpe losing his footing a Mt. Everest Summit base camp. After getting totally humiliated on national TV this past weekend by the Alabama Crimson Tide there are actually people calling Steve Spurrier a bad football coach. These are the same people who just 4 weeks ago predicted we would score 60 points on Central Florida and beat Georgia at their place by 2 touchdowns. When I think of irrational sports fans there were always two types that came to mind, and lots of them were the same people, and that is Met and Jet fans. But I have to put Gamecock fans now in the upper echelon of ludicrously delusional sports fans. They are calling for scholarships to be pulled, guys to be drawn & quartered, and some have even questioned the hiring of Spurrier, the winningest coach in the history of the Southeastern Conference. After we beat Troy this week by 17 points, these fans will automatically have the shipped straightened, told you how much they believed in our guys and again have us playing for the SEC title in Atlanta.

AND

Lastly, in a bit of sad news there has been a bump in the road of my professional eating career. No folks, this was unavoidable. I got a call from the IFOCE people last night asking me if I was still interested in the contest, and of course I was, when I asked what time it was they said around 7 pm that Friday evening. Unfortunately, work has reared its ugly head. That evening beginning at 7 pm we are having our “Midnight Madness” for our Men’s and Women’s basketball programs. It is something that was unforeseen and something that I cannot get out of. But my fans, don’t be weary I am still looking for other contests coming down the road and will never give up the dream of becoming the worlds greatest professional eater. I thank you all for your continued support of this endeavor.

M-ORTIZ

Danny,

I appreciate your soapbox baseball purist response of, oh the DH is bad for baseball, they don't play defense so they can't be that valuable, yada yada yada!!! I have heard it all before, and the argument stunk then and it stinks now. A pitcher is a part time player, just like a DH and they have repeatedly won MVP awards, the voters have said its ok to be a part itme guy. A pitcher goes out once a week, once every 5 games, that's it, at least a DH has to be awake for every game.

If defense were seen as that important why did Brooks Robinson only win one MVP award? Or how about Jim Kaat, the best fielding pitcher of all time had a great year winning 25 games and having a 2.75 ERA (almost a whole run better than the rest of the league) in 1966, but know you gave it to Frank Robinson for winning the Triple Crown in his first season in the American League.

How about Roberto Clemente, arguably the greatest fielding outfielder ever. He won exactly 1 MVP award. He won that in 1966, maybe his worst defensive season ever. He committed 12 errors and only recorded 17 assists, his normal assist to error ratio was 1.9 that season it was 1.4 his fielding percentage was .965. Where was his MVP trophy in 1958 or 1961 or 1968 all when he had earth shattering defensive seasons and very productive offensive ones too?

Dann, the precedent has already been set by the baseball writers who vote on these awards. Jose Canseco has an MVP trophy in a year were he made 7 outfield errors and DH a few games here and there. But you gave him the award for his 40/40 season.

Even Yankee manager Joe Torre has an MVP trophy from perhaps his worst defensive year ever, 1971, where he committed 23 errors at third base. But he hit over .360 and drove in 137 RBI. Why not Bobby Bonds that year, after all he had more runs, SB, HR and similar numbers in doubles and slugging and he won a Gold Glove. But no, the award went to Torre he had those two unbelievable offensive numbers.

Just take a look at the history of the game Dann, that is all you need to do. This game IS about offense, it IS about steroids, it IS about wanting to see guys hit the long ball. As the saying goes, “Chicks dig the long ball.” I have never heard anyone say, “Chicks dig the 6-4-3.” And to say strategy wins and not just big guys mashing the ball all over the place, then what the heck were the Red Sox and the Cardinals last year? Even the Sox this year, by your own admission, are an horrific fielding team but they are the best team in the AL. Why you say, wll obviosuly not because of their leather, but the stick of David Ortiz.

If before the season I were to say I will list two groups of five teams, and you had to chose one group for the World Series winning team to come out of, and the loser has to spend 6 weeks camping with Turd and Whitey, tell me which group you would pick.

Angels, Astros, Mariners, Phillies, and Braves
OR
Sawx, Rangers, Yanks, Reds, and Cardinals.

You are a liar if you picked the top group, which are the 5 best fielding teams in the league, the bottom 5 are the top five run producing teams in the league.

A player who is as exceptional as David Ortiz should win the MVP. He is the best clutch hitter in the game as I stated yesterday. I went back and compiled some more data to back that up. In 33 one run games that the Sawx have played Ortiz is only batting .322 with 14 dingers and 27 RBI. While A-Rod is batting .260 with 9 dingers and 21 RBI in 36 one run games. A DH should, can, and will win the MVP. Defense just does not matter when it comes to this award. Ortiz is the MVP

On Campus 9/16

5 Games to Watch:

Miami v Clemson- The Tigers have the chance to put the Hurricanes in an 0-2 hole for the first time since 1978, but more than that it would be and 0-2 conference hole in what promises to be a close race in the new improved ACC. Clemson’s offense looks good so far this season with the emergence of freshman tailback James Davis splitting time with junior Reggie Merriweather. Senior QB Charlie Whitehurst has not put up huge numbers like some hoped he would, but he has yet to throw an interception and is completing 78% of his passes. Miami should be able to move the ball against the Clemson defense, as long as their line gives Kyle Wright some time. Look for this one to be close down to the wire, and we have already seen Clemson kicker Jad Dean pull out late game heroics, while Miami couldn’t even spot the ball to give the kicker a chance.

Purdue v Arizona- Joe Tiller still has a high powered offense, and he seems to plug ina new QB every year; this year, enter Brandon Kirsch. Nobody is really sure how good this Purdue team really is, going on the road to an improving Arizona team will give them a good barometer. Arizona head coach Mike Stoops could use a nice upset win to really jumpstart what he is trying to accomplish there. The way to do that is keep Kirsh off the field. Stoops has a good ground game with tailback Mike Bell (5.3 yds per carry) and a solid defense. If they can control the clock they have a shot, if not Purdue could roll up a big score to prove a point.

Florida State v Boston College- Even thought FSU is not the power they once were, a win over them still carries weight in the eyes of the public. Boston College was an afterthought being brought into the ACC, a northeastern patsy to bat around in football. However, Tom O’Brien’s Eagles come in ranked 17th in the country and a very good football team. O’Brien himself knows a little something about knocking off the Seminoles, as the Offensive Coordinator at Virginia in 1995 when the Wahoos gave the ‘Nole’s their first ever ACC loss (a game which I attended). This BC team is built on a very tough aggressive defense and the last time FSU faced a real defense (2 weeks ago against Miami) QB Drew Weatherford looked like Garo Yepremian. Fifth year Senior QB Quinton Porter has to have a good game, with very few mistakes to overcome the FSU defense and get his team a big win. I think BC can win this and send FSU back down south with other ACC teams nervous to go all the way up to Chestnut Hill.

Oregon State v Louisville- There are still tons of non-believers of Bobby Petrino’s Louisville Cardinals from last year. And after a struggle to beat in state rival Kentucky two weeks ago, even Cardinals fans seem a bit restless and eager to get back onto the field. The Beavers come calling to Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium this week in what promises to be a shootout. The OSU passing attack ranks 10th in the country and Junior QB Matt Moore is completing 70% of his passes and only 1 int through two games. Louisville cannot stumble in this game at home if they want to continue to get national recognition as a top flight program.

Tennessee v Florida- Southeastern Conference Football at it’s finest on display this weekend in Gainesville. Florida comes in under new coach Urban Meyer and his fancy mid-major offense and a talented QB in Chris Leak leading that offense. The Vols come in with a superb defense led by Jason Allen and Jesse Mahelona along the line and all-world safety Andre Lott. This is a classic match-up and the winner will play for the SEC championship in Atlanta in December. That is all that this game has riding on it, the chance to play for the SEC title!

4 Players to watch:

Maurice Drew, UCLA- The junior running back has gotten off to a fast start, to say the least. He is averaging 9 yards a carry through two big UCLA wins. He will face much stiffer competition in the Oklahoma defense this week, which is only giving up about 2 yards per carry. Drew will be vital to a UCLA win by using his combination of power and speed to keep the OU defense off balance.

Jay Cutler, Vanderbilt- Yes we are talking Vandy football. They are 2-0 with good wins at Wake Forest and at Arkansas (ask SEC teams how hard that is to do). Cutler, the Junior signal caller, has thrown for over 550 yards in the two games and is emerging as one of the best QB’s in the conference. This week he will take on Mississippi at home with a chance to get his team to 3-0 for the first time since Noah built his Ark. Cutler is big and strong armed but also has good feet and can move around back in the pocket.

Sidney Rice, South Carolina- Yes again a little homer pick, but Rice came in very highly recruited but missed his freshman season with an injury and the first game of this year with a dislocated finger. In his debut game last week at Georgia he made five catches for 70 yards and a touchdown, and had another TD called back for a motion penalty. This guy is big and fast and has great hands. This week he will get to showcase his talents to a nationwide audience on CBS as the Gamecocks take on the Crimson Tide.

Mathias Kiwanuka- This 6’7 athletic End is going to try and add to the struggles of the Florida State offense. He and his linemates play the run excellently and will need to do so versus FSU’s combo of Lorenzo Booker and Leon Washington. Kiwanuka is athletic enough to drop into coverage every once in awhile and he can also get to the QB in passing situations. He could have a game changing performance this week and help BC to big win.

3 Lines to take

Take East Carolina getting 13 at Wake Forest. That is way too big a spread, Skip Holtz’s ECU squad will keep it close and may even sneak out a win.

Again Notre Dame is going to kill me, but I am still waiting for their fall. Take Michigan State getting the 6 points. They have beaten ND the last 4 times they have played in South Bend.

For the first time ever, I am going to say take Rutgers laying 21.5 against Buffalo. A few years ago Buffalo embarrassed Rutgers and even though things are going a little better in Piscataway, Coach Greg Schiano needs a big blowout win, or his job is in more jeopardy than you think.

Papi or Pay-Rod?

Though the season is not over, the time for the debate is now. The American League MVP race is down between two guys, David “Big Papi” Ortiz or Alex “Pay-Rod” Rodriguez. The Red Sox are going to win the division and the Yankees are challenging for the Wild Card so both are deserving candidates, even for those who don’t want to give it to someone on a last place team.

Now there is one big difference, Rodriguez plays the field at a very difficult position and Ortiz is just a DH. I know the “baseball purists” will say that a guy who only DH cannot win the MVP. While most of my life I was a subscriber to the theory, I think I may be changing my tune now. It goes along with can a starter or reliever be the MVP? A starter plays in maybe 1/5 of your team’s games, while a reliever may only pitch 70 innings in a season, but they have been named MVP before. So why not a DH? Things change people, sometimes you have to change with the times, the DH is here and it is here to stay.

All that being said, in my opinion this is one of the biggest no brainers in sports. The American League MVP is Big Papi all the way. He is the unquestioned heart and soul of his team and whenever they need a big hit he gets it for them. If I am not mistaken he has 3 walk off hits this year, including 2 walk off HR’s. Rodriguez has been is brilliant self all season long. He has gotten clutch hits at every turn for the Yankees, he and Jeter are the stabilizing forces on that team. But when you break it down Papi is just better in the clutch. Better than anyone. Papi has now elevated himself into the pantheon of all time great clutch hitters. Nobody is a bigger Yankee fan than me, or a bigger A-Rod defender (amazing you have to defend a guy as talented and humble as A-Rod), but I see no way I can really argue for him in this debate.

Baseball is a game that revolves around offensive numbers, and what Ortiz is doing is straight ridiculous. He and A-Rod basically have the same popular numbers, runs, RBI, HR and A-Rod is a little better an overall hit and OBP guy. But when you look inside you see that Papi is the best in baseball. He is batting .343 with a 1.044 OPS with runners in scoring position, and when runners are in scoring position with 2 outs his numbers go up, .370 & 1.241. A-Rod bats between .275-.280 in those similar situations. And in close game late situations Papi is only batting .329 while A-Rod is batting .313, which proves both of them are clutch in close games. For those who do not like Papi being a DH, too bad, plus he is actually a better hitter when he is playing first base. And the craziest number is that he has 23 HR and 63 RBI on the road.

David Ortiz is carving a name for himself as the best clutch hitter of his generation. I never saw Thurman Munson play, but all you here is that whenever his team needed a big hit he was always the guy to get it, and that is what Papi does best. He is a deserving MVP with A-Rod easily a close second, they are the only two that are in the discussion. I will remind Yankee fans a few years ago when Ortiz was a free agent out of Minnesota there was one man in the Yankee organization who wanted to sign him as their DH; that man, George M. Steinbrenner. But of course his “baseball” people told him that Ortiz wasn’t worth it and would never be a consistent player everyday 1B or DH. Yeah, good call Cashman!!!

The Weekend Wrap 9/9-9/11

Things we learned:

We learned of the passing of longtime sportscaster Chris Schenkel. Obviously, things here are all relative, but in the pantheon of sports Schenkel was someone who stood out as a true pioneer. He was really the first “national” sportscaster. He broadcast the first live telecast of The Masters, ABC College Football from Coast to Coast, and the first live anchor at the Olympics at the 1968 Mexico City games. And with all that, the two things he is most famous for is calling the 1958 NFL Championship Game (Giants v Colts Overtime) and being the voice of the Professional Bowlers Association for 36 years. Back in the day, bowling was a big deal on TV and Schenkel was the reason why. He was elected into an astounding 16 different Halls of Fame. Although most of the yahoos who read my site will know him as the bowling announcer from the movie “Kingpin.”

Roger Federer is better than your momma, your daddy, your momma’s momma, and your cousins little baby’s father. Anytime anyone wants to beat this clown, feel free to go ahead and do so. I know Tennis is not on the same par as golf as far as recognition wise, or the Tour De France, but if you want to know who the most dominant athlete in the world is in a single sport, you need look no further than Roger Federer. He lost 3 sets en route to winning the US Open, three sets that’s it, that’s the list!!! What other numbers do you want? 23-0 in tournament finals, 6-0 in Grand Slam Finals, 71-3 overall record this year, and for good measure he is the first man to win Wimbledon and the US Open in back to back years since 1938.

Of the three new coaches’ in the NFL this season, 1 of them got what was expected, while 2 pulled of the unexpected. Mike Nolan was a good choice for the 49ers. I know it is only one game but the team is markedly improved over the Dennis Erickson era. They are more disciplined and more confident in their abilities. Though they still lack a lot of talent, and that in the end will lose them more games than it wins them, they certainly have some things to look forward too. Nick Saban’s Dolphins amidst all their team turmoil came out with a new look and attitude. In Gus we must Trust; Frerotte looked good in the season opener, albeit versus a mediocre team and at home. The Dolphins are also still not very good, but it was good to see that Saban will at least make them competitive with his fiery attitude. And of those tricky Browns!!! Romeo, Romeo, where for out thou Romeo; your team just get there arse’s punished by the Bungles. Same shit different day for the Browns.

Things I disliked:

They way Michigan Quarterback Chad Henne played. Not just because I picked the Irish to get crushed by Michigan, but Henne was just plain bad. He looked like he was brand new to the offense and the team. He compound bad decision on top of bad decision. Maybe all the pressure going into the year is beginning to get to him, last year he played care free, because he was a freshman and who cared what he did. If Michigan is to get back on track they will have to hope Henne improves soon.

Randy Fucking Johnson!!! Now I know people will say, “Hey fat man, he ain’t heavy, he’s my brother, lay off of the Big Unit.” Where the hell has this guy been all year? Hey Mullet-Head, it’s a day late and dollar short (RIP Gorilla Monsoon). Now all of a sudden he is going to pitch like serviceable major league veteran. We could have used this, say in June and July when the rest of our pitching staff was hurt and we did not know who to throw out there everyday. You and Moose could have gotten us a couple of wins there in mid August when we were struggling a bit?

The idiot who posted on my AFC preview in response to Zoltan’s question about Laverneus Coles, you are wrong. Yes, it was Coles who was caught shop lifting from Dillards with Peter Warrick. And yes Coles was kicked off the team for it, in fact he tried to sue the University because of the double standard treatment. Bowden himself basically admitted that yeah he kept Warrick because he was really good and a Heisman Trophy candidate. Minnis in fact starred on the team after Warrick departed for the pros and Coles was let go. We search for the truth on here at all times, please don’t post something if it is false, I mean come on WWROD? (What Would Robert O’Keefe Do)

Things I liked:

Texas V Ohio State was an unbelievable game. Two teams playing at a high level in front of a raucous crowd. Vince Young stepped up and willed his team to victory, while the Ohio State defense seemed to make big play after big play (see AJ Hawk), but in the end Young beat them one last time with a perfect throw. It seems to me there is not nearly enough of this kind of game in college football. Meaning two good teams from power conference’s playing each other. I know there are some rivalry games where this happens (i.e. Iowa/Iowa State, Miami/FSU used to be, or even Southern Cal/Notre Dame), but this game had a bowl game atmosphere. This type of game certainly happens more in college basketball with the likes of Kentucky/UNC or Duke/Oklahoma. Now I know some people will say the reason for it not happening so much in football is because teams are afraid of losing an out of conference game for no reason; they could just as easily schedule Temple rather than Southern Cal. Well I call bullshit on that excuse. Regardless of the fact that Ohio State now has a loss, there is nobody at that game or involved with the OSU program that can say that wasn’t great for college football. Wouldn’t you like to see Florida and Southern Cal pitch it around the ball field? Or how about Tennessee and Virginia Tech, who are a lot closer geographically than most people, realize and often compete for the same recruits. Wouldn’t it be cool for the Georgia Bulldogs to go into Autzen Stadium in Eugene Oregon to see what west coast football is all about? I think so, and I love Texas and Ohio State for scheduling that game. And to think, next year we get to do it all over again down in the Lone star state.

How about a big round of applause and kudos to Kenny “the jet” Smith and the NBA players who put on a benefit game in Houston last night. Listen I am not going to try and canonize these players for what they did, but there is no cross section of athlete that takes more crap from fans about being selfish, self-centered, egotistical, thug millionaires than NBA players. Now they could have easily just written a check, which some like Stephon Marbury already have, but they also donated THEIR time. This was something totally independent of the league. Kenny Smith said we need to do something as rich African American athletes. So he decided a charity game in the city where in won two championships and where a couple thousand evacuees are hold up in the Astrodome and other facilities. The players were required to pay their own expenses there and donate a minimum of $10,000 if they wanted to be there. Sunday morning before the game a dozen or so players went by to see the evacuees and hang out with the kids and play games. At least 25 players donated the minimum including Allen Iverson who did not play but showed up and singed autographs and posed for pictures. We love to criticize NBA players all the time for their words and behavior, but this is one time they need to be cheered for their efforts. A lot of these players were ones who most people have very low opinions of as people, like Artest, Iverson, and Kobe, but in a time where their status as athletes could help bring a smile to someone’s face and their money is needed to help in relief efforts they showed up and did just that.

On Campus 9/10

5 Games to Watch:

Texas v Ohio State- The showdown at the shoe is what it is being called. Ohio State has some indecision at quarterback but they have the best individual talent in the nation in Ted Ginn. He could have his way with a weak Longhorn Secondary and sloppy special teams. Vince Young has the feel of being a special player, but doing it in front of 85,000 screaming Buckeyes may be tough.

Florida v Louisiana Tech- Florida may be staring a week ahead with their conference showdown with the Tennessee Vols. La Tech will being playing with a lot of emotion, but it won’t be enough for the Gators. Watch this game to see if Chris Leak can put up another huge set of numbers and get an early lead on the Heisman Race.

Michigan v Notre Dame- This would be the biggest game of almost any other week. Michigan comes in with a high octane offense ready to steam roll the Irish. However, Irish faithful everywhere have this chalked up as a 30 point win because Charlie Weis beat Pittsburgh in his first game. If the Wolverines can get a stop or two on defense they will roll easily to a victory.

Cal v Washington- Tyrone Willingham looks for his first win at Washington after a heartbreaking loss in week 1 to Air Force. Cal QB Nate Longshore went down with an injury last week and they have no proven back up. This game is going to the ground, if Washington can stop Marshawn Lynch on the ground they can shut down Cals offense. Look for the Huskies to run the ball effectively against Cal’s front seven and grind out a win for Willingham.

Clemson v Maryland- Clemson looked pretty impressive in a win over a ranked Texas A&M team in Week 1. Maryland survived a game against Navy, and now with a deeper ACC neither team wants to open the conference season with a loss. Clemson showed a new and improved rushing attack with freshman tailback James Davis, if QB Charlie Whitehurst gets back on track they can get a road conference win. If Clemson does win they would have a s Miami coming to Death Valley next week not wanting to fall two games off the ACC pace next week.

Players to Watch:

Drew Tate, Iowa- He is just another cog in Kirk Ferentz’s wheel but like all the Quarterback un Coach Ferentz he shows up big at winning time. With a rivalry game against Iowa State this week look for Tate to have his way with a weak Cyclone defense.

AJ Hawk, Ohio State- Hawk is Andy Katzenmoyer but without all the hype. He led the team in tackles the past 2 seasons and has a chance to be the all time leading tackler at OSU. A two time All-Big 10 Selection he will have the unenviable task of shadowing and stopping Vince Young when he scrambles.

Ko Simpson, South Carolina- The sophomore is perhaps the best safety in the country, certainly the best in the country that nobody has heard about. NFL scouts are drooling over his size, speed, coverage ability and ball hawking skills. As a freshman he recovered 3 fumbles, picked off 6 passes and scored 2 defensive TD’s. He could be a force in rattling the cage of Georgia QB DJ Shockley this week.

Sam Keller, Arizona State- Keller, a senior, will get his third career start versus the LSU Tigers Saturday night. He had an impressive showing in last years Sun Bowl and solid week 1 throwing 4 TD passes. Keller’s strong right arm is just what Arizona State needs to upset the #4 ranked Tigers. LSU, under new coach Les Myles, will be more inclined to ry and put up points so ASU may be forced to get in a shootout and Keller’s arm can carry them to victory.

PICKS

Take Michigan laying 7 points to Notre Dame.

Take Clemson getting 2 at Maryland.

Upset special, take Mississippi State getting 14.5 against Auburn

Take the under in Oklahoma v Tulsa, the line is 50.

Take Washington to cover the 9 points they are getting from Cal.

I want to say take the Gamecocks getting 18, but I have a sneaky suspicsion Georgia is going to cover late in a route. Take the Dawgs to cover the 18.

AND

Over/Under 64.5 in the Oregon State v Boise State game, take the over, should be a shootout.

AFC Preview

I will go through my AFC thoughts, but be sure to check back later today or tomorrow morning before your college football day for “The Wisdoms” On Campus segment giving you picks, games to keep an eye on, and players to look out for.
AFC EAST
Speaking of bandwagons, I am on the New York Jets wagon like Dwight Gooden to a rehab clinic (okay bad example). I think this is the Jets year; I am a big believer in Herman Edwards as a coach and Chad Pennington as a leader. They bring back their skill position players and add Lavernues Coles with a solid offensive line. On defense they have the next great middle linebacker in Jonathan Vilma, and have 10 starters back. I liked their second round draft picks, kicker Mike Nugent and nickleback/returner Justin Miller can both have an immediate impact. I look for 12 wins and a surprise upset of New England for the division title.
I am by no means off of the New England Patriots bandwagon. If I had to put money on one team to win it all it would still be the Pats. What is not to love? They still have Tom Brady and a solid corps of receiver’s right? They lose some linebackers but add veterans Chad Brown and Monte Beisel. Tim Dwight pays immediate dividends catching a TD pass in his first game; they add rookie lineman Logan Mankens and he looks excellent in helping dominate the Raiders front line. Again another 12 win season and still the odds on favorite to win it all
I think Mike Mularkey’s Buffalo Bills will have a solid season. I love the swagger of JP Losman, he exudes self confidence, and in this league you need it. They have what could be the next trio, Losman, Willis McGahee, and Lee Evans, and the best offensive coaching staff with Mularkey, OC Tom Clements, and QB Coach Sam Wyche. Their defense is a solid veteran group we should be able to stop teams from scoring, especially in big spots with guys like Troy Vincent, Lawyer Malloy and Takeo Spikes. I see 9 wins and challenging for but missing the playoffs.
Oh those tricky Miami Dolphins, they have you all fooled with Gus “The Human Head Butt” Frerotte. Indeed Frerotte is their starter with a rookie tailback and perhaps one of the worst receiving corps in the league, led by Chris Chambers. On defense they have a veteran group, which is a nice way of saying old and slow. Hopefully Kevin Carter, Vonnie Holliday and the Junior Seau’s of the world still have something left in their tanks. For if not, I see a 5 win season coming out of South Beach, I’m afraid the Canes are still #1 in town.
AFC SOUTH
The Indianapolis Colts are obviously the class of this division. Nothing much can be said about their offense. They picked up Corey Simon late in training camp to help them defend against the run better. It is the same old story, can they beat the Patriots? They will get a good feel for how good they are with road games at Baltimore and New England. There is no reason they should not win 12 games.
I am a believer in the Houston Texans as well. Maybe I have a blind stupid faith in Dom Capers. I think David Carr is going to have a breakout yeas throwing to Corey Bradford and Andre Johnson, and Dominick Davis will be running behind the same solid line he did last year. Defensively they may struggle against the pass, but that will be mostly because they cannot put pressure on the opposing QB. But I still feel that they can win 9-10 games and challenge for a wild card spot.
Nobody loves Jack Del Rio more than me, but his Jacksonville Jaguars have 8-8 written all over them. Byron Leftwich is beginning to emerge behind a very experienced line, but I put Fred Taylor in that Shaun Alexander category. What has he ever done when the chips are down? Defensively they have some holes, mainly on the corners with their DB’s and LB’s. I think they will show some flashes of brilliance, but those flames will burn out.
The Tennessee Titans are not awful, but in the AFC they really don’t have a shot. Yes Steve McNair is still there and Chris Brown is a good young back, but there offensive line has 2 new starter and Tyrone Calico and Drew Bennett do not scare any opposing Defensive coordinators. On defense they have a very week line and secondary. Linebackers Keith Bulluck and Brad Kassell are the only redeemable players they have on defense, so it will be a long year for the Titans. I see 5-6 wins, but it would not be bad idea to get Billy Volek some more snaps.

AFC NORTH

The Baltimore Ravens are a serious football team. Now I have been critical of Brian Billick in the past, but even he can’t really ruin this team. They have a great defense, adding Samari Rolle to an already sick array of defensive players. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are the two biggest difference makers on the defensive side of the ball. On offense Kyle Boller has some more weapons to look to with the additions of Derrick Mason and rookie wideout Mark Clayton. The Ravens will be the class of this division looking at a 12 win season.

The Pittsburgh Steelers will have some trouble repeating last year’s success. Ben Rothlisberger had an outstanding first season; his second may prove to be a little tougher. With injuries to their top 2 backs, the loss of Plaxico Burress to free agency, and a Hines Ward holdout Rothlisberger may have a sophomore slump. However, Bill Cowher will continue to run the ball behind his big physical offensive line and play solid defense. Defensively they have some big play makers like James Farrior and Troy Polamalu. It is time for Antwan Randel-El to step up and be a consistent play maker on offense, if he can than the Steelers could win 10-11 games and get a wild card berth.

The Cincinnati Bengals will continue to show improvement this year. If a lucky bounce goes their way here and there they could have a huge year. Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson are becoming a formidable duo, and Rudi Johnson at RB and TJ Houshmandzadeh are nice complimentary players. Defensively they need to get more consistent play from the secondary if they want to challenge for a playoff spot. I have them at about 9 wins.

Well at least the Cleveland Browns will get to play 16 games this season. This team is bad; on offense they have more castaways than Gilligan’s Island (HIIIII-YYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO). Trent Dilfer, Antonio Bryant, and Reuben Droughns; to quote John McEnroe “YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!!” I cannot see them winning more than 4 games.

AFC WEST

This is the toughest division to pick. All these teams suck, but all can be pretty good, so here goes.

I think the Oakland Raiders will go “Straight Cash, Homey” on this division. I know they are already 0-1 but it was the Patriots. This division, like the NL West in baseball, will take about a .500 record to win. If the Raider line can get a little more protection for Kerry Collins he will pick apart people with Randy Moss, Jerry Porter and Ronald Curry. Defensively Norv has to get his team to stop the run more constantly. If they can do these things they can win 9-10 games.

The Kansas City Chiefs seem to very vogue to be good again this year. I think Priest Holmes will have a good year and so will Trent Greene, but we know this team needs some defense to help them out. They are hoping the free agent additions of Kedrell Bell and Patrick Surtain and the drafting of Derrick Johnson will sure up a terrible tackling/playmaking defensive backfield. I can see them around 9 wins also competing with the Raiders for the Division.

Marty Ball is back with a vengeance with the San Diego Chargers, and that is taking a good thing and turning it bad. There is no way to avoid the QB controversy once Drew Brees gets in trouble this season. With Antonio Gates missing training camp and a weak group of wideouts Brees will invariably be in trouble, and the boo birds will cal for Phillip Rivers (especially if Eli is doing well in NY). On defense they have some good veterans but Quentin Jammer needs to step up and be the playmaker they drafted, but I do not see them winning more than 6-7 games.

The Denver Broncos are still experimenting with Jake Plummer at QB huh? Yeah, well that is why they will suck again this year. I do not think they will run the ball as well as they have in the past, and Plummer will make a ton of mistakes. Defensively they can keep themselves in games with Jon Lynch, Champ Bialy, and Al Wilson healthy. I see them right around 7 wins also, this division will be competitive but bad.

AFC EAST- New York Jets
AFC SOUTH- Indianapolis Colts
AFC NORTH- Baltimore Ravens
AFC WEST- Oakland Raiders
WILD CARD- New England Patriots

I got the Panthers over the Colts!!

NFC Preview

Here it is, as promised an attempt to predict the upcoming NFL season. We will take a look at each Division with the teams listed in order of finish and then give you the playoff predictions. NFC today and AFC tomorrow.


NFC EAST

I’m buying the Dallas Cowboys. When it comes to Parcells I just find it hard to bet against him. He always has a plan, and now that he was finally able to cast away some of the dead weight in Dallas he has his guys in place to make this thing work. The obvious addition of Bledsoe will help, a veteran QB who understands Parcells. The have weapons on offense with Meshayn, Pearless Price and second year back Julius Jones (who will lead the league in rushing) and don’t forget Jason Witten who will emerge as the leagues best tight end (see Mark Bavaro & Ben Coates). Defensively this team is going to have a great year, the addition of DeMarcus Ware as the speed rush OLB and the steady play of Dat Ngyuen and La’Roi Glover up the middle and Parcells 3-4 alignment. I worry about their secondary a little and their schedule (at Oakland, Carolina, & San Diego) but if the get pressure on the QB like they should Parcells will have 12 wins and a division title.

I am not sure what to make of Philadelphia Eagles this season. Obviously there is all the off the field issues with TO and that garbage. Bryan Westbrook is going to have to shoulder a huge load with the lack of RB depth and WR experience. On defense I am not sold on their line, which is what controls the games; I am not sure they can stop the run consistently. Also their schedule proves to be very hard on the road, with trips to Atlanta, Denver, St. Louis and Kansas City, which could be 4 losses right there, and that is not including any division games yet. I give them 9 wins and an outside shot at the playoffs.

I feel the New York Giants are a year away from big things. Some people are expecting those big things this season, especially with the additions of Kareem McKenzie at right tackle, Plaxico Burress at WR, and Antonio Pierce at MLB. On defense the need to get production from their inexperienced DT’s Kendrick Clancy and Fred Robbins who combined for 46 tackles last season. Offensively their line is pretty much in tact so as long as the stay healthy Tiki Barber should have another good year, but Manning still has some happy feet back in the pocket and has not really developed a rapport with any one of his targets; Burress, Shockey, or Toomer. The schedule gets a little favorable in the latter part of the season because Kansas City and Minnesota have to travel to East Rutherford and try to fire up their offense’s in the frigid winter air. Like the Eagles I see 9 wins and a shot at a wild card spot.

Hey Coach Gibbs, go back to NASCAR because you are not getting it done with the Washington Redskins. They really added no significant players to their team this off-season. The have their entire line back and Clinton Portis on offense, however Patrick Ramsey and Mark Brunell are still the QB’s. The only thing worse than that is that they have the 3 best #3 receivers in the game, Santana Moss, James Thrash, and David Patten. Gibbs and Daniel Snyder are going to have a long season here in the nation’s capital, as I see it they are going to go winless on the road this season, having to travel to Denver, Kansas City, St. Louis, Arizona, and Tampa Bay. I see a 4 or 5 win season in store for the Skins and some major off-season overhaul; maybe have Snyder sell the team for a start.


NFC SOUTH

The Carolina Panthers are for real. This team was no fluke when they came within a minute of winning the Super Bowl two seasons ago. They are a soundly coached as any team in the NFL by Mike Fox. On offense they are deep and talented. Their offensive line started 71 of a possible 80 games last season. Jake Delhomme is no one hit wonder this guy is tough, competitive and very talented. They added Rod Gardner to replace Mushin Muhammed and bring back Steve Smith, Keary Colbert, Ricky Proehl, Chris Mangum at TE and Deshaun Foster and Stephen Davis in the backfield. With the best offensive line in football and those skill players they can score on anyone. And the best part of their team is the defense. As long as Peppers and Kris Jenkins get back healthy this defense is as good as any in football. I can see this team winning 13 to 14 games and thinking Super Bowl, especially looking at their road schedule which includes trips to Miami, Chicago and Buffalo.

If I am buying the Panthers, than I am certainly selling the Atlanta Falcons. I do not think Michael Vick is that good; he brings excitement to the game and he can sometimes pull of the spectacular, but he can also kill you with his inability to throw the ball. I think they have a serious problem at Wide Receiver with Dez White, Michael Jenkins, and Brian Finneran who caught a total of 60 balls last season. There running game is solid because of Vick. On defense I think they lack fire power. Keith Brooking, Brady Smith and Patrick Kearny are all solid players, but not game changers. In the Secondary they have nobody that scares you either, of the 10 DB’s on their depth chart they had a total of 9 INT’s last season season. I just don’t see them winning a ton of games and being legit Super Bowl contenders, maybe 9-10 wins and a wild card slot.

Jon Gruden got the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Tony Dungy’s Super Bowl Championship but as for his team with his players, things don’t look so good. Offensively they seem to be running in place, mainly because of the lack of quality offensive lineman. Brian Griese has been a below average QB his whole career, Chris Simms may be worth giving a shot too later in the season. At the skill positions they are young and improving with Michael Clayton and Cadillac Williams, but a poor offensive line will hurt their production. Their defense is still solid but no longer exceptional, especially the front four. Derrick Brooks, Ronde Barber, Shelton Quarles, and Brian Kelley will make some plays to make their record decent, but I see no more than 7 or 8 wins.

It is almost impossible to predict the New Orleans Saints season. On paper this team was pretty bad to begin with, but with all that has gone on and the fact that they have no idea where they are going from week to week it would be unfathomable to think this team has any success this year. Aaron Brooks and Jim Haslett have not got the job done their over the last 3 seasons and with the situation they are in I do not see them getting it done this season. With all that is going on I can see this team have a 3-6 win season, but no more than that.

NFC NORTH

Two of this years sexy picks are in this Division, first is the Minnesota Vikings to go all the way. Culpepper still has plenty of people to throw the ball too, with the additions of Troy Williamson and Travis Taylor. And though they seem thin at running back somebody always steps forward and has a few big games. But their main problem is along the offensive line, where they have 3 new starters. The biggest loss was Matt Birk the best center in the game who was the anchor on that offensive line. However, their defense can pick up some of the slack, finally. Second year Coordinator Ted Cotrell has added some guys in the draft and this season acquired Napolean Harris at LB and Darren Sharper, Antoine Winfield, and Fred Smoot in the defensive backfield. They will be a solid 11-12 win team with a Division title in their back pocket.

The other sexy pick is the Detroit Lions. Put me on the band wagon. Steve Mariucci and crowd gave me every reason to jump off in pre-season. But I have a blind faith in Joey Harrington. The weapons are there, Kevin Jones is a superstar waiting to happen at tailback and their receivers are all big strong and fast. Their offensive line is a little suspect. Defensively I think they are better than people are giving them credit for, I think Mariucci is really going to have a strong year with 10 wins and a wild card berth.

Brett Favre is in the twilight of his career and that is where the Green Bay Packers will end up, in the twilight. Their running game with Ahman Green will be slowed this year by an inexperienced offensive line; rookie William Whitticker will start at right guard and newcomer Adrian Klemm (10 starts in 6 seasons) at left guard. Favre did discover Javon Walker a year after he discovered Donald Driver, but if they cannot run the ball than their passing game will be ineffective. Defensively they have been bad recently, but always had Darren Sharper to correct mistakes at Free Safety, he is now with Minnesota. Nick Barnett at MLB and KGB rushing the passer will not be enough to slow opposing teams down. Under .500 or right at 8 wins is where the Pack will be this year.

The Chicago Bears may go from bad to worse for Coach Lovie Smith. This is their QB depth chart; Kyle Orton, Jeff Blake, and Kirk Kittner, who combined last season for 126 yards and 1 TD pass (and that was all Blake). Really that is all I can say about this team, 4-6 wins is a max year for them, and if they get that Coach Smith should get a monument erected in his honor.

NFC WEST

The St. Louis Rams and the greatest show on turf is back, albeit with a slightly different cast of characters. Marshall Faulk has deferred to second year back Stephen Jackson, and that leaves Faulk as the third down back. Mark Bulger still has the weapons downfield with Torry Holt and Isaac Bruce (Mike Burke loved that guy), and a greta line to protect him with veterans Orlando Pace, Adam Timmerman, and Andy McCollum. Defensively I think they have the fastest linebackers in football with Chris Claiborne, Dexter Coakley, and Pisa Tinoisamoa, and speed kills in the NFL. Their defense will be solid and not spectacular while their offense rolls up the points to the tune of 12 wins and a playoff spot.

Yes I am sort of on the Arizona Cardinals band wagon. Denny Green can coach em up as the say, and he now has a QB to whip the ball around to his young talented receivers; Larry Fitzgerald, Anquan Boldin and Reggie Swinton. Their offensive line is solid and will protect Warner and open some holes for rookie RB JJ Arrington. On defense they have a good unit led by guys who are not household names yet but soon will be; linebackers James Darling and KArlos Dansby and rookie CB Antrell Rolle. They could win 10 games and sneak into the playoffs.

I am never ever buying a team in the NFL who has a QB named Hasselback, and the Seattle Seahawks have Matt Hasselback. Just happens to be a rule I live by. Here is a trivia question, who are Hasselback’s back ups and how many NFL passes have they thrown? I’ll give you a hint, one of the answers is zero. Shaun Alexander is a great numbers guy, but what has he ever done in a clutch spot for this team? The still have big problems at receiver, so much so that they signed Peter Warrick who the Bungals cut. Holmgren will mercifully miss the playoffs with this team and hopefully, for the Seahawk faithful, try and retool this team soon.

And yes the San Francisco 49ers will be required to play 16 games this season.

EAST- Dallas Cowboys
SOUTH- Carolina Panthers
NORTH- Minnesota Vikings
WEST- St. Louis Rams
WILD CARD- Philadelphia Eagles & Detroit Lions

CHAMPIONS- Carolina Panthers

The Daily Nooner

Let me first voice my overall displeasure with my readers!!! You guys suck I post brilliant shit that I work long and hard (huh-huh, he said long and hard) at and the thing you clowns respond to the most was a 45 second rant about irrational fears of the stupid American public. But, on the plus side I think we are going to have a celebrity death match between Dan “The Hittin’ Hebrew” Filowitz and Danny “The Newton Neck” Price (Yurrie the Fucking Giant). Let me say this, Danny I love you like Romans loved Christ, but you did graduate with an Econ Degree from York College, and poorly I might add. Dan Filowitz is a little weasly Jew who wears glasses and does math problems in his sleep, so when it comes to crap like that I am going to side with Dan Filowitz. But Danny, if it had to do with who could get smashed harder by a stop sign, I got you all the way big fella!!

Now things in that gas rant got off on a tangent, but most of your comments just reiterated all of my points (looking for alternate sources of energy, getting rid of gas guzzling machines, the fact the Europeans have paid more for gas for years). However, my main point was the panic that the American public spins itself into. People gassed themselves silly last week, so much so that there was an actual fist fight caught on camera at a Columbia gas station, because one redneck cut in front of the other. My point was that if you start buying something out of control like that, then the people charging you for it are going to raise the price, because the demand is so high. It happened about 8 years ago around Christmas because everyone wet themselves over those god for saken Tickle me Elmo dolls; after a while of people pushing each other down in stores for it people began charging upwards of $70 a piece for the damned thing. That is the same thing that happened with the gas last week, now that everyone has refueled their stations prices are beginning to come down, across Columbia they are down $0.15 on average. And the of the comments on the gas rant the best idea was suggested by Broom County’s favorite son William Harmon Pipher, cancel NASCAR, that right there will save us some fucking money. Lastly, “The Wisdom” would like to welcome Teaneck High Class of ’95 graduate Sean Milano to the board, it took awhile for us to find something in his wheelhouse but we have woken him from the dead.

Now onto some sports

Why can’t the Yankees beat the fucking Tampa Bay Devil Rays? You realize this shit is going to keep them out of the playoffs. When they look back and realize that they were under .500 against one of the worst franchise’s in sports. It is ridiculous that you can take 2 of 3 at Oakland and then get beat at home by the D-Rays. Maybe Sweet Lou is really positioning for the Yankee job, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Big news out of Philadelphia today. Terrible Owens has announced that he will talk to Donovan McNabb before the season opener this weekend. What a humanitarian this guy is. Geez, thanks TO, you are actually going to act like you are part of the team, what a novel concept. Listen, we all know I love Barry Bonds but he can be an ass of a teammate, but TO makes this guy look like Mark Messier. And the other TO news is the fake money he is donating to the Hurricane relief effort. Instead of giving his own actual money, he is auctioning off his NFC Championship ring (off which he wasn’t really a part of anyway) and then donating that money to charity. Hey you cheap asshole, why not pony up some of your own dough? Nah, you will just hock a “TEAM” award so you can give away someone else’s money. Boy this guy is the next Roberto Clemente.

Here is a story I cannot get sick of quick enough; the big comeback of Lance Armstrong. Crap, I barely realized he had retired, and he is coming back already? Doesn’t he have to actual miss one Tour De France before he can actual have a “comeback?” This guy and his whole act is so damned tired. I was watching an old tape about a week ago and it was right after his first Tour De France win and he was doing a commercial for Bristol Myers Squibb talking about fighting cancer and his family and all this, and the commercial ended with this shot of him and his wife all happy together watching their kids. Then when this guy became a big celebrity he dropped her like a bad habit. He is another one of the all time great con men in sports, and anyone who doesn’t think this guy juiced or blood doped is absolutely insane. I really hope he doesn’t “comeback” because then mainstream media will insist on covering the Tour De France on some level and try to manufacture its importance.

How about Notre Dame football. Do these people get excited and disappointed quicker than anyone in the history of sports? I think they might erect a monument to Charlie Weiss because he won a game at Pittsburgh. Remember 4 years ago when Ty Willingham was 8-0 and they were about to name the stadium after him. Heck, they had him write a book called “Return to Glory” after one season. And then soon after fired his ass for not being good enough, or maybe for being black I am not sure which one. But they already have the echoes woken up and the Heismans polished off and ready for the Irish to be number 1 again, after a single win against Pittsburgh. Doesn’t Dave Wannstedt coach Pittsburgh? How good could they be?

Gas Hysteria

Listen up here folks, I am obviously not going to make light of the situation down there in the Gulf Coast Region. What has happened down there is an absolute tragedy and I hope that some day that region can be rebuilt to half of what it once was. It is so sad to here the word refugee referenced to Americans. That term has always been reserved for people in third world countries that have nothing and nowhere to go. Now we have over 30,000 (maybe more) refugees of our own in the most industrialized nation on the planet. This is only the third time in my life when I have been transfixed by what I see on TV and my jaw is on the floor while I watch what is taking place (The Berlin wall & 9/11).

However, there is a problem that has arisen that I can certainly provide my unique stupidity about. You people have actually scared yourselves stupid with this whole gas thing. Now I know my politically charged democratic friends will blast me because I am a Bush supporter and certainly some of this problem can be linked to our ongoing problems in the Middle East.

But seriously people, we are not going to run out of gas tomorrow. Well actual we did here in Columbia; because you have decided that since some oil reserves were damaged in the Hurricane you needed to fill up every gas tank and car you have immediately. I do not understand this at all. I have roughly ¾ tank worth of gas in my car, I will probably need to fill up around Tuesday, and when Tuesday comes I will go to the gas station here and fill up. Last night I did not need to drive myself into a panic and fill up my car and any gas tanks I had lying around the house. All that would have done was drive the prices up faster and the gas down sooner. Instead all of my other fellow citizens waited on 30 deep lines at local gas stations. Why, I ask, why?

Here in South Carolina it is true that two of our pipelines flow was damaged because of the Hurricane. But one of them was back working Wednesday morning and the other will most likely be back up in a week. So what was all the panic about? Now people who may actually need gas tomorrow will have to seek it out here in the greater Columbia area because everyone had a huge brain fart last night.

Obviously gas and crude oil production is an increasing problem in this country, I do understand that. But again folks, we aren’t going to run out tomorrow. President Bush has order some of our emergency oil reserve be opened in order to alleviate the rising gas prices. And if we can ever get the tree hugging hippies out of the way we still have a stock pile of oil up in Alaska, but we may have to kill or relocate a few penguins and polar bears in order to get to it.

Now people say there are ways to conserve gas right now as this fake shortage arises in the country. One is to carpool to work. Well this is an antiquated notion in the year 2005, that worked fine in the 70’s and early 80’s when people worked 9-5 jobs. But that just isn’t the case anymore, it would almost be impossible for me to carpool with anyone because of my job. The other suggestion is to use mass transit when you can. Well that would be great, if we had any mass transit in cities like Columbia, Charlotte, Knoxville, and Greeneville. Unfortunately in most of these places there is a small bus system in the downtown area and that is it. The rest of us who do not live in that downtown area are screwed in cities like this, we need to drive to work, I need to get gas; that is just the way it is (now Dan will tell me this is another reason I need to move to Chicago and become a mass transit urbanite like him).

High gas prices are here people, and there here to stay. You can complain about it, or just deal with it. I do not want to pay $5 a gallon, but what can I do. The one advantage I do have is a fuel efficient car; I am not one of these SUV Hog soccer moms. Once we get rid of all those cars and fucking Hummers we will be able to level out the gas prices a little. Basically the over reaction of Americans is helping to drive the gas prices up to astronomical levels. But lets us remember people in many European countries (yeah you O’Keefe) have been paying upwards of $5-$6 a gallon for over a year now. Really we are not that bad off, except for our lack of wanting to drive around fuel efficient automobiles.