Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Daily Nooner

Whoa, things are beginning to tighten up a little in the AL East. The noose around the neck of the Sawx is getting uncomfortable. The Yankees have begun to play very good baseball lately and they have gotten some pitching from an unusual suspect like Randy Johnson. Not including the game he got thrown out of, in his 3 September starts Johnson has given up 4 earned runs and 11 hits in 21.1 innings. The Yankees are still getting solid pitching from Small & Chacon and Moose comes off the DL tonight. Things look very positive for them heading into the final week of the season. But things do come down to three days in Fenway.

Barry Lamar Bonds is still better than you. This guy, with no spring training to speak of, is shooting balls out of the park already. Most figured he might come back and not really be that good, having missed all year with a knee injury. However, in just 8 games he has already hit 4 homeruns and is slugging .909. This guy is so good it is scary. Once he gets time to fully rehab this knee and comes back next year he again can probably get upwards of 50 homeruns, which by my calculations would push him past Hank Aaron.

In local sports news, those in Gamecock nation are abandoning ship faster than a Tibetan sherpe losing his footing a Mt. Everest Summit base camp. After getting totally humiliated on national TV this past weekend by the Alabama Crimson Tide there are actually people calling Steve Spurrier a bad football coach. These are the same people who just 4 weeks ago predicted we would score 60 points on Central Florida and beat Georgia at their place by 2 touchdowns. When I think of irrational sports fans there were always two types that came to mind, and lots of them were the same people, and that is Met and Jet fans. But I have to put Gamecock fans now in the upper echelon of ludicrously delusional sports fans. They are calling for scholarships to be pulled, guys to be drawn & quartered, and some have even questioned the hiring of Spurrier, the winningest coach in the history of the Southeastern Conference. After we beat Troy this week by 17 points, these fans will automatically have the shipped straightened, told you how much they believed in our guys and again have us playing for the SEC title in Atlanta.

AND

Lastly, in a bit of sad news there has been a bump in the road of my professional eating career. No folks, this was unavoidable. I got a call from the IFOCE people last night asking me if I was still interested in the contest, and of course I was, when I asked what time it was they said around 7 pm that Friday evening. Unfortunately, work has reared its ugly head. That evening beginning at 7 pm we are having our “Midnight Madness” for our Men’s and Women’s basketball programs. It is something that was unforeseen and something that I cannot get out of. But my fans, don’t be weary I am still looking for other contests coming down the road and will never give up the dream of becoming the worlds greatest professional eater. I thank you all for your continued support of this endeavor.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW. Who knew that Cathy Leddy would find your blog spot and drop a post?
I could go on about the advertising world and the slimeballs that they are, but Carlin has done enough in that catergory for all of us...
Remember at the beginning of this month, the race was the NL Wild Card - Now that it's clear the Astros will benifit from playing in the NL Central down the stretch, we can move our focus to the AL.
Who isn't rooting for the Indians down the stretch? I don't want to see Ozzie go down, but those young guns will make any AL series interesting...
My guess is Bonds goes to Coors and comes out with a legitimate shot at tying or passing Ruth before THIS SEASON ENDS.
Steroids, Keroids - He's the best that ever was, ever is and will ever be. He's done it all at some point in his career and I don't want to hear anyone talking about his slimming down cuz he still looks jacked and I'm sure his body looks like he just finished with accupuncture this year.
Can't we just except that he got bigger, granted thru some unknowledged steroid use, but got bigger as he got older? Can someone do a year by year pictography of him and show me the huge jump in weight? Don't we live in America, where you're innocent until proven guilty, not guilty because SEALED GOVERNMENT DOCUMENTS were leaked to nosy press reporters searching for a story?
I'm saddened to hear that you're not gonna be eating competively. Please take solace in the fact that you're still fat and no one can take that away from you.
Roland Ramos OUT

2:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The AL races are very exciting. All three races remain close. I would love to see the Indians catch the other Sox, in what would be one of the biggest collapses since the 1964 Phillies blew a 6 game lead with 12 games left. Also, speaking of my beloved Phightn' Phils; while the Astros do have any easier schedule they showed they aren't just going to roll over and die by taking 2 of 3 from the Braves. However, because they are the Phillies it will probably come down to the last day when they will lose and crush my hopes like they have for the last 25 years. I too am sadend to see your professional eating career end before it got started. I heard ESPN was all ready to change it's Athlete of The Century list. Hey, if a horse can make the top 10, why not a professional eater!
The Fish

6:26 PM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

Slipper-
You, much like Michelle Wie, will be much more appreciated as an amateur. I've seen you eat mac and cheese by the truck load, and although I wished many times you didn't do it sprawled across the sofa in your tighty whities, you're still a champ in my book!

Roland Ramos-
You are confused. You have mistaken Barry Bonds for Brett Hart. He's the "Best that ever WAS, the best that IS, and the best that ever WILL BE!" I think he and the Anvil are the only 2 living members of the Hart Foundation!

10:06 AM  

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