Thursday, September 01, 2005

Gas Hysteria

Listen up here folks, I am obviously not going to make light of the situation down there in the Gulf Coast Region. What has happened down there is an absolute tragedy and I hope that some day that region can be rebuilt to half of what it once was. It is so sad to here the word refugee referenced to Americans. That term has always been reserved for people in third world countries that have nothing and nowhere to go. Now we have over 30,000 (maybe more) refugees of our own in the most industrialized nation on the planet. This is only the third time in my life when I have been transfixed by what I see on TV and my jaw is on the floor while I watch what is taking place (The Berlin wall & 9/11).

However, there is a problem that has arisen that I can certainly provide my unique stupidity about. You people have actually scared yourselves stupid with this whole gas thing. Now I know my politically charged democratic friends will blast me because I am a Bush supporter and certainly some of this problem can be linked to our ongoing problems in the Middle East.

But seriously people, we are not going to run out of gas tomorrow. Well actual we did here in Columbia; because you have decided that since some oil reserves were damaged in the Hurricane you needed to fill up every gas tank and car you have immediately. I do not understand this at all. I have roughly ¾ tank worth of gas in my car, I will probably need to fill up around Tuesday, and when Tuesday comes I will go to the gas station here and fill up. Last night I did not need to drive myself into a panic and fill up my car and any gas tanks I had lying around the house. All that would have done was drive the prices up faster and the gas down sooner. Instead all of my other fellow citizens waited on 30 deep lines at local gas stations. Why, I ask, why?

Here in South Carolina it is true that two of our pipelines flow was damaged because of the Hurricane. But one of them was back working Wednesday morning and the other will most likely be back up in a week. So what was all the panic about? Now people who may actually need gas tomorrow will have to seek it out here in the greater Columbia area because everyone had a huge brain fart last night.

Obviously gas and crude oil production is an increasing problem in this country, I do understand that. But again folks, we aren’t going to run out tomorrow. President Bush has order some of our emergency oil reserve be opened in order to alleviate the rising gas prices. And if we can ever get the tree hugging hippies out of the way we still have a stock pile of oil up in Alaska, but we may have to kill or relocate a few penguins and polar bears in order to get to it.

Now people say there are ways to conserve gas right now as this fake shortage arises in the country. One is to carpool to work. Well this is an antiquated notion in the year 2005, that worked fine in the 70’s and early 80’s when people worked 9-5 jobs. But that just isn’t the case anymore, it would almost be impossible for me to carpool with anyone because of my job. The other suggestion is to use mass transit when you can. Well that would be great, if we had any mass transit in cities like Columbia, Charlotte, Knoxville, and Greeneville. Unfortunately in most of these places there is a small bus system in the downtown area and that is it. The rest of us who do not live in that downtown area are screwed in cities like this, we need to drive to work, I need to get gas; that is just the way it is (now Dan will tell me this is another reason I need to move to Chicago and become a mass transit urbanite like him).

High gas prices are here people, and there here to stay. You can complain about it, or just deal with it. I do not want to pay $5 a gallon, but what can I do. The one advantage I do have is a fuel efficient car; I am not one of these SUV Hog soccer moms. Once we get rid of all those cars and fucking Hummers we will be able to level out the gas prices a little. Basically the over reaction of Americans is helping to drive the gas prices up to astronomical levels. But lets us remember people in many European countries (yeah you O’Keefe) have been paying upwards of $5-$6 a gallon for over a year now. Really we are not that bad off, except for our lack of wanting to drive around fuel efficient automobiles.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, gas prices are still lowerer in adjusted dollars now then they were throughout the first half of the 80's. They would have to go up to somewhere near $5.50/gallon, to reach a new adjusted high in our (anyone under 35) lifetime. This whole gasoline "panic" is a product of the media driven hysteria now know as "info-tainment"

12:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

People need to realize that it's 2005, you're not going to pay 90 cents a gallon anymore. What can you get for 90 cents now a days anyway. For years the price of gas stayed low compared to everything else. One of the biggest complainers about the price of gas that I know drives a jeep. If you're gonna complain get rid of your fucking SUV and buy a fuel effiecent car and stop blaming George Bush!!!
Turd

12:34 PM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

Dude you totally killed my take on the oil problem. I also agree with the your point about Alaska. What do I care about conserving the wildlife in Alaska for when I'm paying nearly $4.00 a gallon for gas. At these prices I will never get to see first hand the marvelous nature way north that we have so desperately preserved since I'm fucking broke!!!

God forbid I can afford to put gas in my car so I can go to work and make a living and pay my bills, and support my family, but at least we have preserved mother nature...right? FUCK YOU, you god damned tree huggers!!! Who gives a rat's ass about a nice tree or a beautiful landscape in the middle of bumblefuck around the arctic circle when anything and everything that's important in the world is south of Canada and the fucking camel fucking towel heads are ass raping us for importing their sand cricket oil. Eat me you fucking Liberal dip shits! It's a fucking a tree...there are billions and billions of them and guess what...we can grow more. What fucking purpose does a penguin serve anyway? Are they even part of the god damned food chain?? Has anybody ever eaten a penguin? Do penguins help the environment? They can't even fly!!! Will the ecosystems of the world shut down with the lack of Chilly Fucking Willy?? We seem to be doing just fine without the Dodo bird! Hey if it means I can fill my tank and spend less then $20 doing it once again, then cut the trees, relocate the fat birds, and let's start digging for some Alaskan tea...OIL THAT IS!!!!

1:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no degree whatsoever and I'm smarter than all of yoos. Here it is you dumb motherfuckers. They use a different grade of gasoline in the summer because shit tends to evaporate in the heat. This grade costs more to refine, hence higher gas costs. Demand does increase somewhat in the summer (more driving) but on a global scale increased demand is really coming from the exploding economies of India and China.

As for supply anyone who says that the war in Iraq has nothing to do with high gas prices is absolutely out of their fucking minds. I'm not even gonna lay out the case or give you examples or reasons... because you're hopeless.

But did you know that Condoleeza Rice has a fucking oil tanker named after her?

Sean M. seanmilano@yahoo.com

6:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Actually, drilling Alaska would help. There is as much oil underneath that state as there is in Saudi Arabia. Not only would it help our supply, but then we wouldn't be as dependant on foreign oil, so their "political turmoil" wouldn't dictate our prices as much. And I'm really tired of everyone blaming SUV's. When I was growing up in the 80's, there were very few SUV's. People drove things like Town Cars, Crown Vics, Caprice Classics, etc. These cars were less efficient than Jeep Cherokees or Blazers, or Explorers. Also, older model pickup trucks got worse gas mileage. The problem with gas prices are that they are finally cathing up with us. But the biggest reason gas prices just jumped is because a whole city was just wiped out by a natural disaster. Unfortunately, there were a couple of refineries that were leveled as well as some rigs in the Gulf. So while you are feeling sorry for yourselves because gas is so expensive, think about all the people who have absolutly nothing left, living on an interstate overpass, trying to feed children with nothing.

8:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

One way to alleviate the gas problem is to cancel Nascar and that crap. Those hillbillies waste so much gas just driving around in circles. Instead of making left turns all weekend, they can go Alaska, adopt a penguin and hug a polar bear so the drilling can start. While we're at it, lets plant some coffee bean plants up there so I don't have pay just as much for my 12 ounce caffe moche latte as I do for one lame gallon of gas. I 've got better things to spend my money on like $4 Corona's at the bar. - Big Willie

9:19 AM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

Hey I have an econ degree too and I can actually comprehend sarcasm and humor....apparently I'm the only one! And penguins do not only live in the south pole...actually some of them live in the heat!!! DUH!!!!!!!!!

10:13 AM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

"I have an econ degree" is supposed to be sarcasm??? To me that sounds like it's either fact or fiction and since I don't know you I care not to take a stab in the dark about your credentials. And the "I am smarter then you" part is obviously a joke but not very funny nor creative therefore I don't classify it as humor!

2:39 PM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

touche'

4:35 PM  

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