The Daily Nooner
- The death of Peter Jennings seems to be the important news of the day. But of course, the death of a news man would certainly be news. Jennings death is the beginning of the end of the dying breed of news anchor. With the now pseudo retirements of Ted Koeppel, Tom Brokaw and Dan Rather the evening news anchor is something of the past. News has become instantaneous with the advent of the internet and 24 hour news stations. The old reliable news anchor is not really something people look for anymore. So Mr. Jennings, goodbye, you will be missed, but not by me, I always watched Dan Rather on CBS you crazy dead Canadian.
- I realize when it comes to the next 2 issues I may talking to myself, but most of this website is me talking to myself. In hokey news there were two major recent developments. The first is Wayne Gretzky coaching the Phoenix Coyotes. I for one am excited about it, I certainly was not planning on watching a Coyotes game this year, this move will make me slightly more interested. The second is the lifting of the suspension of Todd Bertuzzi. Who essentially missed 13 regular season games, for the most malicious act I have ever witnessed in sports. He broke from the normal course of the game and intended to seriously injure Steve Moore. Moore’s career is more than likely over. Now I am not saying Bertuzzi should never play again, but 13 games is all he got. Is Bud Selig running this league? I know he also missed he World Championships because of this suspension, but who care about that. The fact is Bertuzzi should have to miss half of the upcoming season, but the NHL dropped the ball, again, this league is still mired in serious trouble.
- What ever happened to recycling? Remember about 15 years ago this was all the rage. And people would make you feel so guilty if you did not recycle. We used to have those square boxes in every office and classroom for paper recycling and those cool garbage cans with just the soda bottle size hole cut in the top. I honestly can’t remember the last thing I recycled, well except for my underwear, or a girl here or there. This was all the rage in the 90’s. It was going to save our world; we were all going to be champions for the cause. What happened? I guess cell phones and the internet have distracted us too much. Certainly I do not have time to recycle. I have to keep all of you entertained by complaining about things.
- Now on to my continuing one man crusade to bring down the reign of terror that Bill “The Sports Guy” Simmons has launched upon the readers of ESPN.com over the last few years. He had a column that ran over the last 5 days or so that contained so little humor or insight it is wonder is brain hasn’t exploded from stupidity. He ran this column highlighting the NBA off-season through the eyes of Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell’s character from Anchorman). Are you serious? First of all Anchorman was perhaps the worst comedy of all time. The character of Ron Burgundy is less funny than Simmon’s himself. This guy is such a hack. Please make it stop. I will repeat, always, Bill you cannot give YOURSELF a nickname, it does not work that way.
AND
- Oooh, my favorite time of year has begun, pre-season football. Seriously, this stuff is dreadful. What’s worse is they insist on televising this bullshit. It is so painful to listen to the announcers search for things to make up about the guys playing. The only thing worse than listening to John Madden describe the credentials of a free agent strong safety is fantasy drones examining games to try and figure out who they are going to pick in their upcoming draft. Yes I have played fantasy sports in the past, but never really got into it, and have decided to cease fantasy operations for the last few years. I hate fantasy sports, even when I played them I thought they were goofy. Give me an 18 hole course and 13 clubs in a bag.
OLD SCHOOL RAP LYRIC OF THE WEEK
Got more stories that J.D. got Salinger
I hold the title and you are the challenger
I've got money like Charles Dickens
Got the girlies in the Coupe like the Colonel's got the chickens
Always go out dapper like Harry S. Truman
I'm madder than Mad's Alfred E. Newman
- I realize when it comes to the next 2 issues I may talking to myself, but most of this website is me talking to myself. In hokey news there were two major recent developments. The first is Wayne Gretzky coaching the Phoenix Coyotes. I for one am excited about it, I certainly was not planning on watching a Coyotes game this year, this move will make me slightly more interested. The second is the lifting of the suspension of Todd Bertuzzi. Who essentially missed 13 regular season games, for the most malicious act I have ever witnessed in sports. He broke from the normal course of the game and intended to seriously injure Steve Moore. Moore’s career is more than likely over. Now I am not saying Bertuzzi should never play again, but 13 games is all he got. Is Bud Selig running this league? I know he also missed he World Championships because of this suspension, but who care about that. The fact is Bertuzzi should have to miss half of the upcoming season, but the NHL dropped the ball, again, this league is still mired in serious trouble.
- What ever happened to recycling? Remember about 15 years ago this was all the rage. And people would make you feel so guilty if you did not recycle. We used to have those square boxes in every office and classroom for paper recycling and those cool garbage cans with just the soda bottle size hole cut in the top. I honestly can’t remember the last thing I recycled, well except for my underwear, or a girl here or there. This was all the rage in the 90’s. It was going to save our world; we were all going to be champions for the cause. What happened? I guess cell phones and the internet have distracted us too much. Certainly I do not have time to recycle. I have to keep all of you entertained by complaining about things.
- Now on to my continuing one man crusade to bring down the reign of terror that Bill “The Sports Guy” Simmons has launched upon the readers of ESPN.com over the last few years. He had a column that ran over the last 5 days or so that contained so little humor or insight it is wonder is brain hasn’t exploded from stupidity. He ran this column highlighting the NBA off-season through the eyes of Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell’s character from Anchorman). Are you serious? First of all Anchorman was perhaps the worst comedy of all time. The character of Ron Burgundy is less funny than Simmon’s himself. This guy is such a hack. Please make it stop. I will repeat, always, Bill you cannot give YOURSELF a nickname, it does not work that way.
AND
- Oooh, my favorite time of year has begun, pre-season football. Seriously, this stuff is dreadful. What’s worse is they insist on televising this bullshit. It is so painful to listen to the announcers search for things to make up about the guys playing. The only thing worse than listening to John Madden describe the credentials of a free agent strong safety is fantasy drones examining games to try and figure out who they are going to pick in their upcoming draft. Yes I have played fantasy sports in the past, but never really got into it, and have decided to cease fantasy operations for the last few years. I hate fantasy sports, even when I played them I thought they were goofy. Give me an 18 hole course and 13 clubs in a bag.
OLD SCHOOL RAP LYRIC OF THE WEEK
Got more stories that J.D. got Salinger
I hold the title and you are the challenger
I've got money like Charles Dickens
Got the girlies in the Coupe like the Colonel's got the chickens
Always go out dapper like Harry S. Truman
I'm madder than Mad's Alfred E. Newman
3 Comments:
Slipper - I love ya buddy, but I have to take up for my man Billy Simmons. Him and I are the same page and I love his work. I thought the Anchorman bit was hilarious. He's not trying to breakdown the causes of Middle Eastern turmoil but his stuff is just a good time to read so take it for whats its worth. There are only two sites I checked almost daily for updates, his and yours so hopefully we can all just get along.
OK, you've fainally done it. You've gone past the fat bitter man with a great sense of humor into the fat bitter man who's just angry and out of touch with comedy. Anchorman is a great comedy. It is full of fantastic one liners and humerous characters. "Knights Of Colombus that hurt!" , "Great Odin's Raven!" etc etc etc... Take it from a guy that knows funny better then the guy who told Howie Mandell he'd look good bald.... it's funny!
Bill Simmons page is not that bad either. All those page 2 guys have good and bad stuff but on the whole Simmons is not that bad....god forbid he disagrees with you or your eternal grumpiness refuses to let you in on "the joke", but overall he's pretty good.
Get a clue Tubby or just jump off the upper deck at Yankee Stadium, apparently that's a fate better then watching them play now a days...
In your over/under rated post, you forgot to add Kris DeBlasio's opinion to the overrated list.
Post a Comment
<< Home