Important Announcement
I fucking hate Terrell Owens and hope that he dies in a fiery plane crash. Really there is nothing that will ever happen to this asshole that I will ever feel bad about.
BUT THAT IS NOT THE REAL ANNOUNCEMENT, HERE IS THE REAL ONE
I, Kris DeBlasio, being of sound mind and full belly have decided to take my talents to a new level. Yes that is right ladies and gentlemen I have officially registered for my first sanctioned professional eating event. It is a decision I have been measuring for some time now and decided it was time.
WHERE/WHEN/WHAT
The International Federation of Competitive Eating (www.ifoce.com) sponsors events all across America and this fall along with GoldenPalace.com is sponsoring a 15 circuit Grilled Cheese eating competition. Each contest consists of 10 minutes of eating standard Grilled Cheese sandwiches. This will take place in 2 months, October 14, here in Columbia at the South Carolina State Fair. Come one, come all and see your amazingly fat friend stuff his face with Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.
WHY NOW?
Well again, like I said I have been thinking about it for awhile now. With the recent surge in popularity of competitive eating I thought it a good time to join in the fun. I have spoken with my physician and we are going to get a complete medical work up and make sure everything is ok with my body and ready to compete with some of the worlds best endurance athletes. I feel I am well prepared at this point in my life, and if I do not join now I may never have the opportunity again.
So, Godspeed to my stomach and its capacity for cheese!!!!
BUT THAT IS NOT THE REAL ANNOUNCEMENT, HERE IS THE REAL ONE
I, Kris DeBlasio, being of sound mind and full belly have decided to take my talents to a new level. Yes that is right ladies and gentlemen I have officially registered for my first sanctioned professional eating event. It is a decision I have been measuring for some time now and decided it was time.
WHERE/WHEN/WHAT
The International Federation of Competitive Eating (www.ifoce.com) sponsors events all across America and this fall along with GoldenPalace.com is sponsoring a 15 circuit Grilled Cheese eating competition. Each contest consists of 10 minutes of eating standard Grilled Cheese sandwiches. This will take place in 2 months, October 14, here in Columbia at the South Carolina State Fair. Come one, come all and see your amazingly fat friend stuff his face with Grilled Cheese Sandwiches.
WHY NOW?
Well again, like I said I have been thinking about it for awhile now. With the recent surge in popularity of competitive eating I thought it a good time to join in the fun. I have spoken with my physician and we are going to get a complete medical work up and make sure everything is ok with my body and ready to compete with some of the worlds best endurance athletes. I feel I am well prepared at this point in my life, and if I do not join now I may never have the opportunity again.
So, Godspeed to my stomach and its capacity for cheese!!!!
6 Comments:
Honestly this is the best news I've heard in a really long time! I am so happy, like a proud parent! You go Slipper!! I'm seriously considering traveling to SC to witness this event. Maybe Rob will go with me!
Congrats Slipps, and goos luck!
and GOOD LUCK TOO!!
I think the real question is the strategy that should be used.
Do you prepare for the event by practicing eating and will that hurt your chances or do you starve yourself for a couple of days beforehand and eat like a homeless person at a buffet?
Unlike Mr. Filo-Nazi, I'm all behind this, althought I wouldn't stand behind you for a couple of days afterwards.
OK, enough with the unfunny humor. I really wish you all the luck in the world and hope you show those Southern rednecks that us Northerns know how to eat our own weight in cheese, just like them...
GOOD LUCK
As Kris's official grilled cheese eating contest coach, I can assure you we will get all needed information and he will be properly prepared to hold up the pride of Teaneck,NJ.
You already have a coach, but I will volunteer my services as your promoter. Only in America can you witness the fantabulous feeding of the fattest of all fat-asses. The King of Corpulence himself...Krisco Deblasio
What is the over/under on how many Kris will eat? Does Vegas post this number?
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