The Daily Nooner
Let me first voice my overall displeasure with my readers!!! You guys suck I post brilliant shit that I work long and hard (huh-huh, he said long and hard) at and the thing you clowns respond to the most was a 45 second rant about irrational fears of the stupid American public. But, on the plus side I think we are going to have a celebrity death match between Dan “The Hittin’ Hebrew” Filowitz and Danny “The Newton Neck” Price (Yurrie the Fucking Giant). Let me say this, Danny I love you like Romans loved Christ, but you did graduate with an Econ Degree from York College, and poorly I might add. Dan Filowitz is a little weasly Jew who wears glasses and does math problems in his sleep, so when it comes to crap like that I am going to side with Dan Filowitz. But Danny, if it had to do with who could get smashed harder by a stop sign, I got you all the way big fella!!
Now things in that gas rant got off on a tangent, but most of your comments just reiterated all of my points (looking for alternate sources of energy, getting rid of gas guzzling machines, the fact the Europeans have paid more for gas for years). However, my main point was the panic that the American public spins itself into. People gassed themselves silly last week, so much so that there was an actual fist fight caught on camera at a Columbia gas station, because one redneck cut in front of the other. My point was that if you start buying something out of control like that, then the people charging you for it are going to raise the price, because the demand is so high. It happened about 8 years ago around Christmas because everyone wet themselves over those god for saken Tickle me Elmo dolls; after a while of people pushing each other down in stores for it people began charging upwards of $70 a piece for the damned thing. That is the same thing that happened with the gas last week, now that everyone has refueled their stations prices are beginning to come down, across Columbia they are down $0.15 on average. And the of the comments on the gas rant the best idea was suggested by Broom County’s favorite son William Harmon Pipher, cancel NASCAR, that right there will save us some fucking money. Lastly, “The Wisdom” would like to welcome Teaneck High Class of ’95 graduate Sean Milano to the board, it took awhile for us to find something in his wheelhouse but we have woken him from the dead.
Now onto some sports
Why can’t the Yankees beat the fucking Tampa Bay Devil Rays? You realize this shit is going to keep them out of the playoffs. When they look back and realize that they were under .500 against one of the worst franchise’s in sports. It is ridiculous that you can take 2 of 3 at Oakland and then get beat at home by the D-Rays. Maybe Sweet Lou is really positioning for the Yankee job, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Big news out of Philadelphia today. Terrible Owens has announced that he will talk to Donovan McNabb before the season opener this weekend. What a humanitarian this guy is. Geez, thanks TO, you are actually going to act like you are part of the team, what a novel concept. Listen, we all know I love Barry Bonds but he can be an ass of a teammate, but TO makes this guy look like Mark Messier. And the other TO news is the fake money he is donating to the Hurricane relief effort. Instead of giving his own actual money, he is auctioning off his NFC Championship ring (off which he wasn’t really a part of anyway) and then donating that money to charity. Hey you cheap asshole, why not pony up some of your own dough? Nah, you will just hock a “TEAM” award so you can give away someone else’s money. Boy this guy is the next Roberto Clemente.
Here is a story I cannot get sick of quick enough; the big comeback of Lance Armstrong. Crap, I barely realized he had retired, and he is coming back already? Doesn’t he have to actual miss one Tour De France before he can actual have a “comeback?” This guy and his whole act is so damned tired. I was watching an old tape about a week ago and it was right after his first Tour De France win and he was doing a commercial for Bristol Myers Squibb talking about fighting cancer and his family and all this, and the commercial ended with this shot of him and his wife all happy together watching their kids. Then when this guy became a big celebrity he dropped her like a bad habit. He is another one of the all time great con men in sports, and anyone who doesn’t think this guy juiced or blood doped is absolutely insane. I really hope he doesn’t “comeback” because then mainstream media will insist on covering the Tour De France on some level and try to manufacture its importance.
How about Notre Dame football. Do these people get excited and disappointed quicker than anyone in the history of sports? I think they might erect a monument to Charlie Weiss because he won a game at Pittsburgh. Remember 4 years ago when Ty Willingham was 8-0 and they were about to name the stadium after him. Heck, they had him write a book called “Return to Glory” after one season. And then soon after fired his ass for not being good enough, or maybe for being black I am not sure which one. But they already have the echoes woken up and the Heismans polished off and ready for the Irish to be number 1 again, after a single win against Pittsburgh. Doesn’t Dave Wannstedt coach Pittsburgh? How good could they be?
Now things in that gas rant got off on a tangent, but most of your comments just reiterated all of my points (looking for alternate sources of energy, getting rid of gas guzzling machines, the fact the Europeans have paid more for gas for years). However, my main point was the panic that the American public spins itself into. People gassed themselves silly last week, so much so that there was an actual fist fight caught on camera at a Columbia gas station, because one redneck cut in front of the other. My point was that if you start buying something out of control like that, then the people charging you for it are going to raise the price, because the demand is so high. It happened about 8 years ago around Christmas because everyone wet themselves over those god for saken Tickle me Elmo dolls; after a while of people pushing each other down in stores for it people began charging upwards of $70 a piece for the damned thing. That is the same thing that happened with the gas last week, now that everyone has refueled their stations prices are beginning to come down, across Columbia they are down $0.15 on average. And the of the comments on the gas rant the best idea was suggested by Broom County’s favorite son William Harmon Pipher, cancel NASCAR, that right there will save us some fucking money. Lastly, “The Wisdom” would like to welcome Teaneck High Class of ’95 graduate Sean Milano to the board, it took awhile for us to find something in his wheelhouse but we have woken him from the dead.
Now onto some sports
Why can’t the Yankees beat the fucking Tampa Bay Devil Rays? You realize this shit is going to keep them out of the playoffs. When they look back and realize that they were under .500 against one of the worst franchise’s in sports. It is ridiculous that you can take 2 of 3 at Oakland and then get beat at home by the D-Rays. Maybe Sweet Lou is really positioning for the Yankee job, I wouldn’t be surprised.
Big news out of Philadelphia today. Terrible Owens has announced that he will talk to Donovan McNabb before the season opener this weekend. What a humanitarian this guy is. Geez, thanks TO, you are actually going to act like you are part of the team, what a novel concept. Listen, we all know I love Barry Bonds but he can be an ass of a teammate, but TO makes this guy look like Mark Messier. And the other TO news is the fake money he is donating to the Hurricane relief effort. Instead of giving his own actual money, he is auctioning off his NFC Championship ring (off which he wasn’t really a part of anyway) and then donating that money to charity. Hey you cheap asshole, why not pony up some of your own dough? Nah, you will just hock a “TEAM” award so you can give away someone else’s money. Boy this guy is the next Roberto Clemente.
Here is a story I cannot get sick of quick enough; the big comeback of Lance Armstrong. Crap, I barely realized he had retired, and he is coming back already? Doesn’t he have to actual miss one Tour De France before he can actual have a “comeback?” This guy and his whole act is so damned tired. I was watching an old tape about a week ago and it was right after his first Tour De France win and he was doing a commercial for Bristol Myers Squibb talking about fighting cancer and his family and all this, and the commercial ended with this shot of him and his wife all happy together watching their kids. Then when this guy became a big celebrity he dropped her like a bad habit. He is another one of the all time great con men in sports, and anyone who doesn’t think this guy juiced or blood doped is absolutely insane. I really hope he doesn’t “comeback” because then mainstream media will insist on covering the Tour De France on some level and try to manufacture its importance.
How about Notre Dame football. Do these people get excited and disappointed quicker than anyone in the history of sports? I think they might erect a monument to Charlie Weiss because he won a game at Pittsburgh. Remember 4 years ago when Ty Willingham was 8-0 and they were about to name the stadium after him. Heck, they had him write a book called “Return to Glory” after one season. And then soon after fired his ass for not being good enough, or maybe for being black I am not sure which one. But they already have the echoes woken up and the Heismans polished off and ready for the Irish to be number 1 again, after a single win against Pittsburgh. Doesn’t Dave Wannstedt coach Pittsburgh? How good could they be?
8 Comments:
Daddy's deployed dolls
When I first saw the link on Daddy Types , I wondered if it was just sarcasm. But then I read the posting on Thingamababy , and discovered the photo gallery .
I can't get satisfaction, but you may find some here Ayoye, you never know
Slipper, Haven't you been listening to T.O. at all? The guy needs a new contract, He's tryin to feed his family for Christ's sake. How can you expect him to donate his own money!! On another note he also promised something big for the Monday night game. I'm hoping he walks up to McNabb during warmups, apoligizes to him, then gives him a donkey punch and walks off the field. That would be awesome!!!!
Turd
First off, don't you hate these god damned queers that advertise on your blog?? Fuck off lunch pushers!
Secondly, you assume that since I spent 5 years at a small crappy college completely drunk, mostly angry, and passed my time by banging ugly chicks, getting hit in the head with household items, and avoiding class as if were Coach Gamber's office, you'd think I weren't as smart as a book wormy Jewish scholar....well and you'd be right, but at least I had fun doing it and in the end a degree is a degree. I mean it's not like I was a Poly Sci major! Also it was Econ and Finance just for the record...
Thirdly, Mark Messier is a dick! I was totally nice to him when we met him at that bar in Hilton Head and he refused to shake my hand. The old midgety shit is lucky I didn't hurl him face first into a Lash Larue clothesline! And that was mins after I fell out of the car in the parking lot!
Finally, I will be posting the Survivor Pool lock of the week on the Boom Boom Report for anyone stupider then me....NO COMMENTS!!
Mmmmmmmmmm...garlic chicken recipe!
http://theboomboomreport.blogspot.com/
To start off, why are you so upset with TO? You should have come to expect that type of behavior from him. You are why he does this shit, it gets him attention, everywhere in the world. Now, for Lance Armstrong. Fuck him. If he really had cancer, then there is no way I would ever believe he wasn't doping. I hope he does come back and either falls off a mountain or gets run over by one of those cars. Screw TO and Armstrong, they both suck.
I would have to say that race was a big part of Willingham getting the axe at ND. I mean, they refused to call the man Tyrone, it was always Ty. Stanford didn't do that, and Washington isn't doing that. All of a sudden, he's back to being Tyrone. Screw ND and Tommy McLaughlin.
Didn't Notre Dame refer to him as Coach Dirty Nigger Willingham a few times too?
Oh Squire, you make me blush!!! Yes we did come in contact with a vast array of craptactular professional wrestlers. Highighted by Billie Kidman attempting to put me in an arm bar when I tapped him on the shoulder. I would have kicked his little punk ass!!
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