Wednesday, November 22, 2006

OJ, you suck

The attempt on Nordberg's life left me shaken and disturbed

Just when I am ready for OJ Simpson to lift me out of the pit of despair that is known as my fucking life, lift me higher than Snoop Dogg at Burning Man, higher than Cheech at Tommy Chong’s release party, really high and then he goes and cancels the “If I had Done it” TV special and book. What the hell am I supposed to get people for Christmas now? Everyone I know was getting the DVD/Book combo set. They should change the line in the song;
“Where have you gone OJ Simpson,
Our Serial killers turn their lonely eyes to you
WOO-WOO-WOO”
OJ just when I think you are once again going to become my hero, you go and disappoint me all over again.


Yeah. Assman, Jerry. I'm Cosmo Kramer, the Assman!

Speaking of Anti Heroes, how about that Michael Richards huh? Did you see this loon go off on some heckler in the audience at the laugh factory? What a genius, he just kept yelling the N word over and over again. What was that all about? This guy is such a hack, really his career went downhill after he starred as Martin Beck the “Bowtie Killer” in 1990’s “Problem Child.”


Jack Eliot: I'm a World Series MVP!
Skip: That was four years ago, Jack. Last season, you hit .235.
Jack Eliot: LAST SEASON, I led this team in ninth-inning doubles in the month of August!

(That is a quote from Mr. Baseball, it is a funny movie, check it out)

So we all know I am going to talk about the AL MVP because I am a Yankee fan and I think my guy should have been the MVP, and I am always correct. But here is the real problem I found with the voting, I really don’t mind that people voted for Morneau (Dan Filowitz, A Great Jew and Canadians worldwide can be very proud of their native son), what I do have a problem with is some dude voted Jeter 4th and somebody else voted him 3rd. To quote Dick Vitale, “Are you serious?” Even if those votes are changed Jeter still finishes second, but I want to find the yahoo who honestly believes there were 5 players more valuable than Jeter, he needs to be identified and public question by “Black” Jack McCoy.


I love LA…………….WE LOVE IT!!!!

Wow, just spend a week on the left coast and it really is the fakest place on earth, but I will tell you what; the women there are off the friggin chain. We went out to some club down in Costa Mesa when we were staying down in Irvine, folks when I tell you there wasn’t a decent looking woman in the joint I am not telling a lie. Everyone in the place was beautiful, except for me and my friends; we couldn’t have been more out of place. We were so anti Southern California it was scary, we looked like such tourists, and I loved it. I have been to LA itself and wasn’t overly impressed, but the amount of money flowing around and the phonies pretending they have mo9ney is truly a rich experience and keeps us regular folk grounded. But seriously, if you want to see beautiful women get yourself to the freakin O.C. The girls on that show don’t even come close to doing these women justice.

Speaking of Hollywood, I have seen 2 movies in the recent past, and no, one of them wasn’t the Borat thing. I guess I will see that at some point but I find Sacha Baron Cohen’s brand of humor not all that humorous. I just think he isn’t funny. And not being funny brings me to one of the movies, “Stranger than Fiction.”

The new Will Ferrell movie is definitely a sharp departure from the usual crap that I think he mostly has stunk in (Anchorman, Elf, Kicking & Screaming, Bewitched, and Talladega Nights). This movie seemed really original and a vehicle that could showcase the talents Will Ferrell has and it came nowhere close. The movie really had no point, why he was being written about and could hear the narration of the writer was never explained and there were useless characters like Dustin Hoffman (wow, I never thought I would say that). So basically I would not recommend this movie, to anyone.

The second movie I saw was “A Good Year” with Russell Crowe. Crowe’s string of excellent roles continues with this movie. Since 1997 he has made LA Confidential, Breaking Up, Mystery Alaska, The Insider, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander, and Cinderella Man, that is a Hanksian run (the only two clunkers have been Proof of Life & Heaven’s Burning). He was magnificent as the crass business man who returns to his Uncle’s chateau and vineyard with the plans to sell it off for as much money as he can, rather than maintain it which his Uncle wanted him too. The movie overall is a little slow, but it turns out to be a very moving story. I recommend to real movie fans and definitely Russell Crowe fans.

6 Comments:

Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

You should be more pissed about the voter that had Jeter 6th!!!! It's true, look it up!

10:25 AM  
Blogger THE INNOVATOR said...

Danny,

I meant 4th and 6th. If you see later in the paragraph I talk about how could some guy justify 5 guys ahead of Jeter, so I did mean 6th.

As always, thanks for your help.

KD

10:42 AM  
Blogger Yurri The Fucking Giant said...

Why did you want Willie's number?

1:03 PM  
Blogger John Chappell said...

Basically Blas, I am amazed that you would even attempt to write a review for a movie which you slipped in and out of consciousness throughout, managing to disturb the entire theater with your spectacular snoring ability. Although it was not very funny, I thought Stranger than Fiction was a clever and interesting movie. Hoffman was a necessary element in providing some direction in a story of confusion. Queen Latifah on the other hand really had no purpose other than to give Emma Thompson someone to talk to. Unlike Ferrell's usual work, this movie had several complex themes, and the reason some questions remained unanswered was to get you to think about the possibilities, which is tough to do when you are dreaming about titties and doublecheeseburgers or whatever a fat man's mind wanders to when he ventures to slumberland.

8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

While I agree that Queen's character was somewhat pointless, only there to give some for Emma to talk to (is there an echo in this room?), I really enjoyed Stranger Than Fiction.
It was a nice departure for Ferrell, he was being written about because the author was writing a novel that happened to be about a real man. The question about whether other people had died at her hands (pun intended) is left open to think about it afterwards (there really seems to be an echo in here).
They're not building shelves to fit the Oscars for the film, but it was better than a bunch of other crappy films that I haven't seen.
And since I know you won't go, Bond isn't that bad. There are long, LONG poker sequences, but you also must remember that the casino has always been a part of the Bond character.
Daniel Craig, like most critics are saying, will never be the best Bond, but he may be the best actor to play Bond and they're likely to use more realilistic storylines in the future (as real as a special agent storyline can be).
I really liked the Departed as well. Go get a cheeseburger for me...
Mayor McCheese OUT

10:21 AM  
Blogger THE INNOVATOR said...

Martin

The Bond genre has been so played out and so stupid that they are remaking their own movies. Seriosuly, how stupid is that?

12:13 PM  

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