Lady in the Water

Here we have another installment by the most original film maker since Alfred Hitchcock. Of course M. Night Shyamalan’s idle is the great Alfred Hitchcock, so this would stand to reason. The Shyamalan camp is split into two very distinctive classes; those who think his movies are stupid, hokey and predictable and those who think he is a genius. Well there are always more than two choices, I fall somewhere in the middle as I usually do.

Like most, I thought “The Sixth Sense” was a very good movie; enjoyable, suspenseful and thought provoking. His next two movies have varying opinions among the masses, including myself. I thought “Signs” was a piece of trash and completely worthless whereas “Unbreakable” seems mostly underrated to me. And his last effort out two summers ago was “The Village” which I did not find as awful and trite as so many others. To me it was entertaining, had its suspenseful moments, and like all of Shyamalan’s films it was visually beautiful. I would say “Lady in the Water” falls somewhere right in between “Signs” and “The Village.”

Let’s first get to some of the positive points about the movie. The first is the acting of the two lead characters. Paul Giamatti was fabulous as the stuttering building Super who becomes the unlikely hero of the fairy tale. Giamatti is fast moving up the list of outstanding actors working today. For some reason he toiled in relative anonymity in the nineties. However, he has burst on the scene in the last 4 years with his award nominated roles in American Splendor, Sideways, and Cinderella Man. The other main actor is Bryce Dallas Howard who plays the female lead in her second straight Shyamalan movie. As in “The Village” Howard is entrancing and we seem to not be able to take our eyes off of her throughout the film. Howard and Giamatti have great chemistry on screen and they hold the movie together with their performances.

Other positives in the movie were the originality of the story and of course the visual aspects of the movie. The story is a true original; it is basically the expansion of a bedtime story Shyamalan made up for his children. And visually he uses all sorts of cool camera angles and editing techniques which always keep your eye focused and aware of what is going on in the film.

With all of those positives the movies is still somehow a jumbled mess of a plot and more confusing than a bad Tarantino film. Basically before the movie really begins the entire plot is laid out in detail during a narrated crudely drawn cartoon. Even with that deep explanation I still had trouble following what was going on. There were too many characters that had too many jobs in trying to rescue the lost girl (The Lady in the Water) and get her back to her homeland. Every time you thought things were figured out it seemed something or someone was missing which led to mass confusion among the audience and I suspect the cast as well. And typical to this director he got monster happy again. He goes to such great lengths to build up these awful, angry, flesh eating creatures but the CGI effects make them appear extremely fake. Not to say there wasn’t a time or two where they made you jump from your seat but overall they weren’t as effective as I suspect he wanted them to be.

Again while it had its good point overall it was a bit confusing and hard to follow. However, I would always give an original movie like this a chance rather then some ridiculous sequel or the Ballad of Ricky Bobby. So I do encourage Shyamalan to keep presenting us with new fresh ideas on the screen, some will work and some won’t, but nothing can take the place of originality.

It's like Africa Hot!!

Sorry folks this week has been weak on the posts. It is mainly the heat, I mean come on people it's like a 1000 degrees out there, how am I expected to think.

I do appreciate the responses to the Rappers Delight post, it took a lot of time, hard work, dedication, and research by everyone on my staff and they should all be commended.

Well I guess there are a few things I could discuss:

I was watching Mike & the Mad Dog on YES the other day (for those who don't know, you better ask somebody) and Dog was talking about how it is enough already with the Bonds crap. If you are going to indict the guy fucking get on with it, and I agree wholeheartedly. Now again I am a Bonds fan and Bonds apologist or whatever you want to call it, but seriously this whole thing by the Fed's in San Francisco and Major League Baseball's investigative team has been a witch hunt from Day 1 to get Bonds. It has been going on for over 2 years now and guess what? They still have nothing on the guy. Literally everyday this week he was supposed to be indicted and guess what, no freaking indictment.

I always try to avoid TO issues, but this thing last week about him being misquoted in his own autobiography is classic. Is their anybody out there worse than this guy? What a stooge he is. He basically said he was misquoted by the dude he and his agent hand picked (his agents brother) to write this silly book. And in the preface of the book it says something like, my word from me to you. And he was misquoted, brilliant.

Oh yeah, and one other thing...........CLERKS II!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rappers Delight

Have you ever wonder why bad things happen to good people? They said the good die young. Why is it the good kids always go down the wrong path?

Just recently here at the offices of "El Wisdom" we have a new intern working for us. Young, bright, personable kid just recently graduated from the Pennsylvania State University with honors. His future is promising after his time at "El Wisdom", he will go on to do great things. However, like most youngster of his day and generation he can be misguided in a few areas. As we all know the intelligence in the movie going youth culture is substandard, but I can mostly get over the fact that he states Vince Vaughn is the best comedic actor of all time. I can deal with people being that uneducated in movies. What I cannot deal with is someone being that uneducated in the world of Rap Music, for some reason it just sickens me.

The other night a couple of friends and I were out and this young man (we will call him Wilbur for anonymity) was being introduced to some young ladies friends of mine. One of the fine young woman was inquiring how old he was, where he was from and some likes & dislikes. The subject of music came up and like every American he claims to have an eclectic taste but realistically it is as Top 40/Mainstream as it gets, that always happens with shallow people. She then asked who is favorite musical artist was and Wilbur said he like Busta Rhymes (Whooo-HA!!). Now I will never criticize who one person likes in music because there are definitely random bands and artists who I think are good and others scoff at me (especially art house goons like Dan Filowitz, he would laugh at the fact that I thoroughly enjoy The Counting Crows). Now what I can separate is the fact that I enjoy the Crows but I would never try to legitimize them as a top notch band of all time. Listen, they are certainly not the Beatles or the Stones, they are not even Pink Floyd or The Yardbirds, but I still enjoy there tunes. What these young yahoo's can't differentiate is liking some artist but being able to separate that artists place in history. The point being, Wilbur, informed me that Busta Rhymes was the greatest MC of all time.

Well next thing I know I am in the ambulance on the way to the hospital and the paramedics are asking if I know my name, what city am I in, etc. Needless to say, I had a nasty bump on the back of my head from hitting the ground at Mach 2. I then asked him to please explain himself and his biggest arguments were that Busta had the biggest variety of styles (?) and his longevity. The fact that he has maybe mostly crappy albums over the last 6 or 7 years didn't seem to bother him, just the fact that he has been making albums, or what this yahoo considered decent albums. As much as I think people can play around with other lists, like Top 10 Comedy Movies, or Top 10 Albums or even Top 10 Brand of Cheese Snack, for some reason the Top 10 Rap artists of all time seems too important to me.

Rap music has been so influential and so groundbreaking in its 30 years in the American culture that its importance must be dealt with seriously. Not since Elvis shook his hips on the Ed Sullivan show had America so moved by a cultural phenomenon. Especially when you consider the roots of rap music coming from the streets of post Civil Rights movement ghettos, and the fact that it was a way of lamenting the African-American experience and describing their anger with the system. Since then it is has grown to be the most successful cross over genre of music ever. Honestly, to this very day its importance on American society and culture is still vastly underrated. The artists in the Top 10 category have all been seminal and important to the fight and the cause of rap music, and I think they are fairly indisputable (of course this will spark massive controversy here on "El Wisdom") I do feel there are field of educated readers of this site who's insight and commentary will be greatly appreciated and it is because of their age and the experience of growing up in the belly of the beast of this cultural shift in the late 80's and early 90's in an neo-urban suburb where the mix of the black and white cultures was volatile during these important times when rap music shifted from the streets into the mainstream culture.

The best way I can make legitimate comparisons for everyone is to take the Rappers and compare them with All-Time Baseball greats. And by the way, my list has 11 artists, but you will soon see why. I also feel there is no real order you can list them, but just all one giant category of greatness:

The Beastie Boys (Jackie Robinson)- Even though there significance of breaking the color barrier would seem to have been done a lot sooner than Jackie Robinson it is the importance that counts. Especially consider that rap music was a world dominated on the meanest streets of the city when 3 white kids decided it was time to turn hip hop on its head. There infectious rhymes and obscure & varied references along with the unbelievable hard core rock sound laid beneath the tracks still has yet to be rivaled. They, like Robinson, where seen sort of as a meal ticket, someway to just make money by doing something different, but they always answered the bell and have made groundbreaking hip hop for 20 years.

Biggy & Tupac (Joe Dimaggio)- They are the two most immensly talented artists in every form of the game. Flow, artistry, lyricism, cross over appeal, hit making and street credibilty from coast to coast nobody ruled like these two did. Like Dimaggio they were the model of consistancy on every track, never a bad one made. When they rapped with others they always made them better because of their greatness. Neither one of them set out to be the greatest they simply were; they were effortless in their command over the mic. Forever they remain linked because of the circumstances that ended their lives and their careers (sort of for Tupac?). Again, like Dimaggio they may not have the highest average or hit the most homeruns, but they just pounded away hits and rarely struck out.

Chuck D. (Ted Williams)- Now the opposite of the above, he set out to be the greatest and most influential MC and he accomplished that and more. Chuck D. saw rap music as a forum to explore the black experience through a sort of controlled rage that he unleased on the microphone. And what is worse, after he spit, like Williams he then told you how good he was, and as much as you didn't like it, you certainly could not deny it.
Everything about his style, delivery, message and use of words as a weapon is something every tries to reach and somehow never will (like batting .406). His use of rap music as a political forum is what helped recognize rap music as an art form and allowed for the continued legitmacy of the music.

Eminem (Alex Rodriguez)- For some reason people always want to tear him down, but when you really sit back and listen to him he is captivating, controversial, smooth on the delivery and vicious with his words. His first album was a great debut from a brand new man to the game, and somehow he had to try and top that success. With the release of his second LP he became a force in the game; The Marshall Mathers LP was a raw stripped down version of the happ go lucky hip hop of the new generation. It was raw, emotionally charged and forceful like the orginal rap from the streets. Through his three major label LP's and guests tracks he always produces hits whether people think they are or not (like A-Rod). He has faded a little, but he will rebound and come back strong because his style is too raw to be ignored.

Jay-Z (Barry Bonds)- He can easily be compared to the greats of all time, but the old schoolers (traditionalists) don't want to really give him credit. He started out raw and from the streets of Brooklyn but then beefed up to be come a multi-million dollar hip hop mogul. All the while producing some of the biggest rap hits of all time. His last 3 albums are all classics from top to bottom, they are a throwback to old school hip hop with there bass lines and big time beats along with Jay's smooth almost effortless delivery. Though it seems slow it is a masterful style of rhyming that nobody can rival (like Bonds overall talent on the field of being able to hit for power, drive in runs, steal bases, and field). He is an all time great no matter what problem people try to find with him.

KRS-One (Stan Musial)- He is an all american original. He is from the birthplace of hip hop, the streets of the Bronx. He was brought up at the golden age of hip hop and he was an undergound version of Chuck D. While his group never achieved the same amount of commercial success or recognition his polticial and social stance in his music is as important as anyone. He can be said as one who never compromised his rap music into "selling out," always being a black sheep with his controversila lyrics against whites, society and other rap artists. He can battle anyone at anytume nobody has a mastery of the english language and the ability to annunciate and rhyme words the way KRS can and always will. Like his baseball counterpart Musial he will always be lost in the discussion of all time greats, even though Musial played in 24 All-Star games and got 3600 hits, KRS has been as important to the growth and longevity of rap.

LL Cool J (Babe Ruth)- He is the Babe, he is the Sultan of Swat. LL Cool J was the first and only true rap megastar. He has made 11 platinum albums over the past 20 years, that record is unmatched and may never be touched. His 1991 release "Mama Said Knock you Out" was the second biggest rap album of all time (behind "The Chronic"), but it still stands as Ruth's 60 HR's even though others have passed that number his still stands. LL Cool J burst on the scene with a smooth delivery and street wise lyrics of "I can't live without my Radio," his lyrics transformed into the first rap love songs and the ladies could not resist, but then he went back to the raw street rapper and then became a cross over artist who made number 1 albums on each level of his career evolution. The difference in albums like "Mama said Knock you out," "Mr. Smith," "Radio," and "The Todd Smith Album" is so stunning yet they are all so revolutionary in their sound and lyrical content.

Rakim (Sandy Koufax)- While his career has lasted for a long time it was his few years of complete dominance over th mic with make him a hall of famer. Rakim's delivery is the most unique of all time. He crafted his rhymes like poetry, filling his lines with elaborate metaphors and complex internal rhymes, and he played with the beat like a jazzman, earning a reputation as the smoothest-flowing MC ever to pick up a mic. His articulation was clear, his delivery seemingly effortless, and his influence on subsequent MCs incalculable. Like someone would describe Koufax her had the best "stuff," his curveball unhittable and his fastball able to blow you away. Rakim is the original MC who rocked the mic like none other and his style and delivery will always be emulated.

Run DMC (Ty Cobb & Honus Wagner)- They started it all, they are the original hit makers. Rap was still obscure until 3 youngsters from Hollis Queens decided they need to drop some street wise knowledge with the fattest beats of all time. There combination of the greatest rap DJ of all time and the duo frontman rhyming back and forth created the perferct symbiotic relationship. Their debut album "It's like that/Sucker MC's" was spare, blunt, and skillful, with hard beats and powerful, literate, daring vocal and the style of trading lines and finshing each others verses. Run DMC was hardcore from the streets and the brought rap from a singles based genre to a totally conceptulaizrd LP based form of music. They hold all the original records of hip hop they are the first tru star of the game. Their music will always be looked upon with reverence as their hardcorse style paved the way for all the rap that came after them.

Snoop Doggy Dogg (Willie Mays)- He burst on the scene as a guest artist with Dr. Dre in the movie tilte theme song "Deep Cover." The first time you heard that single you started asking who is that guy and how does he do that? His laid back west coast style of smooth rhymes and hardcore lyrics combined with a infectious flow to his voice made him an instant success. He was prominatley featured on the most important rap album ever, Dr. Dre's 1992 "The Chronic." The album featured Snoops smooth kick ass delivery combined with the P-Funk bass grooves all mixed with Dre's top notch producition skills. Snoop became the biggest star in the game. Everything he does turns to gold or platinum and he is beloved by everyone. Snoop the persona and Snoop the rapper are one in the same, the laid back west coast playa with the words, flow, rhymes and skill to rock the mic anywhere anytime.

Yes there are other important hip hop artists both popular and mainstream as well as the littler known and more underground. Some of those also receiving votes who I could think of are; Common, Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, Nas, Slick Rick, Method Man, Mobb Deep, and Guru-Gangstarr.

Mid-Season Awards

The world of baseball has reached its mythical mid way point, though most teams have played close to 90 games. The mid summer classic is coming up tonight and we all can't wait to see who has homefield advantage for the World Series. We are not going to get into silly Bud Selig issues like that, because we all know it is stupid, but who really cares? What we are going to do is give out our mid-season awards. Yes we missed my baseball season preview due to internal audits here at "El Wisdom" but we are back and we can certainly bore you with this. As usual my picks are solely mine and rarely are mainstream, but hey that is what makes them fun. We will be looking at MVP, Rookie of the Year, Manager of the Year, and Comeback Player of the Year (mostly beause there are 2 sure fire winners for this award). And yes I mostly believe and MVP should be someone on a winning team, unless that player has done something outrageous that can still merit the MVP.


AL MVP: Derek Jeter, SS New York Yankees, no you say, what about Big Papi, Jim Thome or even young hitting star Joe Mauer? Well I say Derek Sanderson Jeter. His team has been completely devasted by injuries and they are winning games at an almost 60% clip. But Kris, you are just bitter Yankee fan who does not want to give Papi his just due. Wrong again my young padewon; in fact last year my vote for MVP was Big Papi, and yeah I know all the clutch hits he has banged out this season. Jeter is batting .345 and a staggering .427 OBP scored 50 and drove in 50 and stolen 18 bases 4th in all of baseball in hits.

AL CY YOUNG: Roy Halladay, SP Toronto Blue Jays. Halladay has been dominate all year long, only losing one game since his second start of the season. He has moe down everyone to the tune of 72 SO's vs only 16 BB's. His WHIP is only slightly over 1.00 and he has pitched 130 innings; he leads the league in Wins and is third in ERA, if he can continue to keep this up he can keep the Blue Jays playoff hopes alive.

AL MANAGER: As the Monkees once sang, "Ooohhh, I'm am a believer," in Jim Leyland that is. I was never a huge believer in his days in Pittsburgh, he had some talent there, and then winning with Florida was all that impressive because they were built solely for that run, but now the turn around he has made with the Tigers is amazing. I thought the Tigers had some young talent over the past few years, but Alan Trammell was never able to put it together. Well Leyland has blended his young stars and sprinkled in the veteran presence's of Kenny Rogers, Pudge Rodriguez, and MagglioOrdonez to produce the best record in baseball. While I don't nescessarily feel they are the best team, they are certainly among them and Leyland deserves all the credit.

AL COMEBACK: I have never been huge on this award but again this season has 2 deserving candidates. Jim Thome of the White Sox is back in the AL where he belongs and shows that he still has some major power in the bat. He is among the top 5 in the league in HR (30), RBI (77), Slugging (.651) and OPS (1.065). He has been the much needed pop the White Sox were looking for in their lineup this season and he has them right in position to make another deep post season run.

NL MVP: David Wright, 3B New York Mets, again I pull the unconventional Wisdom on all your asses. Yes Albert Pujols is having an incredible season, but his injury has slowed him down a bit. Wright is living up to all the hype in the hype capital of the world and doing it on the best team in the NL. His power numbers are among the leagues elite with 20 HR and 74 RBI, he is in the top 10 in batting at .316 and slugging at .575. He has done all this while playing in all but 2 games and playing the best defensive third base since a young Scott Rolen. Wright is right now the best player on the best team in the National League.

NL CY YOUNG: Brandon Webb, SP Arizona Diamondbacks, while his team is mired in mediocrity it is not because of Webb. He is 9-3 with a league leadin g 2.65 ERA. Batters are hitting .256 against him and his WHIP is 1.11 an incredible number for a starting pitcher. He also leads the league in innings pitched is 10th in K's and has thrown 3 complete games. You can breakdown all the numbers Brandon Webb continues to be a dominate pitcher on a mediocre ball club, as evidence of his 16 Quality Starts out of 18 total.

NL MANAGER: Perhaps one of the least known people in all of baseball is Cincinnati Reds manager Jerry Narron. But what he has done with this Reds teams has been very impressive. They are in the absolute thick of the NL Central and Wild Card battles and they seem to be a team of mostly castaways. The pitching staff is loaded with #3 startes like Bronson Arroyo, Joe Mays, Eric Milton, and Kent Mercker. In the field they are lead by their strong outfield play, but it is the infield which is so solid with random guys like Brandon Phillips, Felipe Lopez, and Rich Aurilia and of course utility man Ryan Freel playing everywhere. As a team with all these random players they are among the national leagues elite hitting teams. While Narron may not be a household name he is earning his paycheck in Cincinnati.

NL COMEBACK: Much like the American League this is the biggest no brainer in the world. Nomar Garciaparra is having one the best career resurgences ever. How can you not love what this guy is doing? After being the heart and soul of the Red Sox for so many years and winning 2 batting titles he was cast aside at the trading deadline in their season of ultimate joy. Once in Chicago it looked as if his career was over, injuries kept biting him and he barely played 100 games over two seasons, all the while it still looked as if he could hit for a high average if he could just stay healthy. Then the Los Angeles Dodgers were about the only team willing to give this guy a chance and have him play first base. His season got off to a rocky start with a stint on the DL but then when he began playing he did what he alwyas does, get hits in bunchs. He is leading the NL in hitting (.358) is 6th in Slugging (.578) and 3rd in OPS (1.004). I am glad, I have always been a fan of Nomar and hope he continues to pound the ball, he still may be the most prolific right handed average hitter since "joltin" Joe Dimaggio.

The Weekend Wrap 7/07-7/09

Things we learned:

If you want to make a movie and make millions of dollars, put Johnny Depp in it and have him play some eccentric character. Teenage girls flock to a Johnny Depp movie quicker than something that is really fast (I am not good at analogies). As of the time we went to print here at "El Wisdom" it was estimated that the second installment of Pirates of the Caribbean was going to likely clear the $150 million mark, that is some serious coin folks. I have yet to see this movie, as the hoard of screaming teens this weekend at the theatre is what kept me away. A friend of mine went to see on of the midnight screenings Thursday night and it was sold out about an hour before showtime, as were four of the next days showtimes. I have no doubt that this is an entertaining film, much like the first one was, but I do get so disgusted with Hollywood's lack of creativity and their seemingly endless supply of safe sequels that way these people can keep their pockets lined. In fact what made the first Pirates so entertaining was the willingness for Disney to take a risk and use one of their theme park attractions as the basis of a major motion picture (I doubt it would have worked with "It's a Small World"). But to be force feeding us with a second, and an already in the can third installment just seems to be too much for me. But that is the way of the action film it seems. Other recent action films I enjoyed were Mission:Impossible and The Bourne Identity, both these movies had successful sequels which were at one viewing entertaining and satisfying enough, but again they have made a third installment of each. Isn't it enough already, Jason Bourne kicks ass, I get it; don't fuck with Ethan Hunt or he will track you down and make you pay, I get it. Johnny Depp's character Jack Sparrow is entertaining, funny, witty, seems like a cool drinking buddy, but how played will it be by the time the third movie comes out? By then you will have seen the original on TBS about 412 times.

Pedro Martinez's pussy is beginning to hurt a little earlier this season. Yes folks it is mid summer and time for Pedro's arm to start breaking down. Red Sox and Expos fans you know it, you've seen it, now explain it to Mets fans. How every year Pedro's pussy begins to get inflamed, his ERA begins to swell, like my junk at a strip club (now that is an analogy), and you are left wondering why the hell do we have to pay this putz $30 million for another 2 years. Now of course if the Metropolitans do go on and win the whole thing this season they will credit the shutting down of Pedro in mid July as the reason why, but you know they are shitting rocks. Mets fans, we kid because we care; watch out the Braves are only 13 back!!!!

Things I liked:

I think I said this same thing at this time last year, but Tennis is still a pretty cool sport. I somewhat enjoy this time of year when we can pay some attention to our non traditional and individual sports. I actually saw something online today about all these southern inbred redneck idiots complaining that stuff like Golf, Soccer, and Tennis were all the rage right now. They were wondering when football season is starting, what a bunch of shallow retards. These are the same people who have never read a book from beginning to end that didn't have the words "Dale Earnhardt" in the title. Back to my point, the Wimbeldon Men's Final this year was some of the most well played, fiery, competitive tennis I have seen in years. Of course I awoke to late to see the first set in which Roger Federer rolled 6-0 over Rafael Nadal, this was probably a good thing because I might have shut it off then. But I got to watch three sets and about 2 1/2 hours of brilliant tennis. This match was for more than just Wimbeldon. You see Nadal has beaten Federer the last 4 times they have played, including last months French Open Championship match. It was also for the number 1 ranking in the world, something Federer has had a firm grasp on for the last 3 years or so. Also it was for Nadal to stand toe to toe on grass and prove that he was no longer just a clay court specialist but a force on all surfaces and a legitimate challenger to Federer's thrown. The US Open should be an interesting tournament for these two, if they somehow meet up in a third Grand Slam final in one year, and Nadal can win two of them we could have that rivalry we are always looking for in Tennis, even if an American isn't involved.

Things I disliked:

You know soccer people, the Beautiful Game, it almost had me, it really did. However, you can blame on guy for losing me, and that is retiring French superstar and "ambassador" of the game Zinedine Zidane. For the past month no ugly American soccer hater has given the game more of a chance than me. Even at my best, I will still only really be a World Cup guy, never much of a Champions league follower or Euro Cup aficionado, but I'll pay attention every four years, more than I had in the past. Like every American I gave the game a chance in 1994 when the Cup was in the good ole USA and in 1998 I still cared a little bit. What happened in 2002 I am not sure, maybe I was just completely wasted that year, but I don't remember a single game being on TV, who won the damned thing or what the hell country it was in. But again this year, with the emergence (or so called emergence) of the US as a possible contender we gave a crap once again. I watched and I watched, and I never really complained. The penalty kicks to decide games really don't bother me all that much, I can get over that. The one thing that gets a little annoying is the diving and faking injuries bullshit, but even that I was mostly over. The thing that I did love was the high quality of play and then even the higher level of class and sportsmanship shown before and especially after games. Watching the exchanging of jersey's and the players genuinely feeling sorry for friends or even teammates of theirs who played their asses off only to come up a little short. The story of French captain and one time worlds greatest player Zidane making his final national team appearance captured the attention of the world. Zidane had helped lead France to a surprising victory on their home turf in 1998 and now he was trying to do it again. One more time, for the gipper, the French team played hard, gave all out effort. After the Portugal game in the semi's Zidane and longtime friend and teammate, Portuguese Captain, Figo tearfully exchanged jerseys. It was, what the beautiful game is all about. Then came the finals, France's best player, Thierry Henry, dazed early in the game, but aging superstar Zidane again came through on a penalty kick to give his time a 1-0 lead. Italy tied the game up and they played deep into the Berlin night. Regulation time ended 1-1, then came overtime, both teams exhausted after the first 15 minute overtime period. Then in the second overtime period Henry too tired to go on suffering from cramps was substituted out for. With ten minutes remaining it looks like this thing is headed for a final Penalty kick showdown, we are dreaming it, tied up Zidane versus Italian goalie Buffon, earlier in the match Buffon bested Zidane on a header after Zidane had already scored on a PK. But then in one instant; brutal, vicious and totally classless Zidane ruined it all. After an attack by the French, the Italian defenders cleared the ball and Zidane and Italy's Materazzi exchanged a few words (as all athletes do, as all soccer players do). Then Zidane in one of the most idiotic moments and ill timed frustration walks over and rams his head directly into the chest of Materazzi, for no reason. This is a play normally reserved for the hacks of sports, the Bill Romanowski's and the Todd Bertuzzi's, Not the Mike Singletary's and the Steve Yzerman's. Forever and a day now, Zidane will be remembered as a hack, that's it, its that plain. For all the world to see on the biggest stage in the biggest game, he pulls that bush league play. It is inexcusable. The only thing I can think of that comes remotely close is that of Roger Clemens and the shattered bat incident against Mike Piazza (but even that can still be claimed as somewhat reactionary). Zidane's move was calculated, vicious and meant to cause danger and harm to Materazzi.


Saturday night I am on my way home and I am listening to Fox Sports Radio, presumably ESPN Radio must have been in commercial. Time and again Fox Sports proves why they are clearly second best. This talking head is going on and on about LeBron James and how he has agreed to a $180 million contract and how it is ridiculous for someone that young to be making that much money playing basketball. He also thinks it is shame that sports stars who make this insane amount of money aren't forced to give back money to social programs or foreign aid to help Tsunami relief and war relief. How much of an absolute tool can this guy be? First of all he kept harping in the number, $180 million, which isn't even correct. LeBron is going to sign a max deal for 5 years and $80 million. Secondly, you would think if you are in any level of sports journalism you would have learned to get over the whole money think long ago. All of these players making way too much money, the cats out of the bag pal, get over it. I get upset when Nene makes $60 million, not because he is making $60 million but because he is making more than about 100 basketball players who are better than him. And again, sports nuts like me always love to point this out, how come people don't get as outraged over movies stars like Tom Hanks, Mel Gibson, and Tom Cruise making $25-70 million a picture? Well I am going to use some bad language here, white people still hate to see a nigger make money, it's that simple. But still that is not the whole of my point here with this Fox Sports Radio ass clown. He kept saying these people should be forced to give part of their salary back to these various type of social programs. I hate to inform this guy of something, but we already have a system in place for that, it is called taxes. You pay your taxes on your income for those very types of social programs and foreign aid initiatives, that is what the government does with that money (or is supposed to do with that money). You cannot specifically earmark a certain percentage of LeBron James' salary to go to feeding the homeless, he is a tax paying citizen just like you and me (well save for all the illegal immigrants reading this blog).


PS

The coolest most retarded thing just happened. I was running a spell check on this latest blog and the last word here today was blog, and it was not in the spell check dictionary. And no I was not spell checking this on Word or anything, I was spell checking this in the blogger publishing window. So the word Blog is not in the Blog hosting websites spell check dictionary.

Things that make you go Hmmmm?

Why is it if a girl has a weird or accent you may not have really heard in awhile does she somehow become more attractive or exotic? Met this Canadian lady out the other night, her freaking eh's and aboooot's turned me on boy!!!

How again is Francisco Liriano not on the All-Star team? Can someone please explain that.

To paraphrase Pedro Martinez: "Who is Kim Jong IL?" What's up with this guy, relax pal, take a load off. 60 years ago, you won, have fun with it, you have your little communist paradise now enjoy it. But if you want to get freaky, I'll quote Principal Richard Vernon, "Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns."
Did ESPN already somehow pick the Super Bowl winner on Sportscenter? How did they do this when camps haven't even opened yet? Have we become that football crazed in this country?

If the average movie-goer pays $8 to go see a featured film at a local theater, do you realize that 6 million people in this country have said to themselves over the past two weeks, "Hey, let's go see The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift." Seriously, does this not bother anybody else? Should we wonder why our kids are so dumb and can't score as high as other countries on standardized tests? I believe there is a direct correlation here.

Keith and Andrew, how cool is the title of today's blog, I mean seriously, can I get some love from the Dog Pound?

He should have stayed away

Now, instant critics of mine, Martin & Kyle, who know I am not into this genre of films are going to ask, why go see this, especially on opening weekend. Well as some of you know I am still in development with a local TV station about becoming a part time movie critic for their morning television show (yes, they are going to show a better looking person and spoon feed him my lines). Well alas they called me up Friday and asked if I would go see this movie so we can do another test screening later this week. Indeed I have never been a fan of the whole comic book, sci-fi, fantasy film genre on almost any level (basically I like Star Wars and the rest of it is crap). When I was a kid I saw the Superman’s and the Batman’s and thought they were all equally stupid. As in my young adulthood non creative movie studios have flooded us with remakes and books turned movies like Spider Man, Daredevil, the Incredible Hulk, Lord of the Rings, X-Men, etc.
Most of that stuff I never really wasted time on viewing, and the ones I did view at best were mediocre. Well the newest edition of Superman fell way short of my expectations of mediocrity.

This thing was a piece of crap from start to finish. Director Bryan Singer (who is the Larry Coker of directors, his first major feature film was The Usual Suspects and it has been downhill since then) first mistake led to all his other problems, and that first mistake was the length of his “action movie.” This move was over 2 ½ hours long, which is dreadful for most movies, especially any action movie. It felt like I was in the theatre for eternity. From there all his problems mounted; the terrible acting, the bad plot, and the predictable outcomes of the situations. Now I know what you are going to say, “Kris, you knew Superman would save the day, of course the outcome is predictable.” And yes while I agree with that, there was something near the end (I won’t ruin it) where the movie could have ended and set up perfectly for a sequel (and yes there is a sequel waiting to be green-lighted once Brandon Routh signs on).

Again I was never a big fan of the original Superman films, but to me they seemed to work well in the core audience and the actors who played the parts were very good. Christopher Reeve, Margot Kidder, Gene Hackman, and Jackie Cooper are all memorable in their respective starring roles. However, in this latest installment, outside of newcomer Brandon Routh everyone else I pretty much terrible. Routh has the look, feel and movement like Reeve did and is believable as the man of steel. Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane could be the biggest casting mistake since someone said, let’s put Keanu Reeves in (insert movie here). Bosworth and Routh exude zero chemistry on screen and may as well be two strangers who just met. Bosworth is part of the new stable of hot young Hollywood actresses who seemed to all be named Kate or some close variation thereof, yet none of them come close to being as good as Reese Witherspoon or Rachel McAdams when it comes to talent. Veteran actor Frank Langella plays Perry White, Editor of the Daily Planet, but he brings very little to the part mainly from Director Bryan Singers lack of use of the character. And lastly, Kevin Spacey was cast as the super villain Lex Luthor. Initially I thought this was great casting until I watched the movie, while Spacey can normally play a great diabolical bad guy, his character was way to hokey and comic booky. He was not a bad ass like Gene Hackman in the original or Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of the Joker in the Batman movie, Spacey was more Jim Carrey as the Riddler. As for the secondary roles nobody really stands out, except for Lois Lane’s child, and he only stands out because of his lack of use in the movie. There is a “secret” about the child that we are all clued into early on in the movie, and while he could be a major part of the plot he never becomes so, and I am still wondering why?

Listen, I am not one who openly rips apart movie plots all that often, plenty of my favorites have some gaping holes in them. However, Superman Returns has more holes in it than Denzel Washington in the last scene of Training Day. The first problem with the movie is the title, Superman Returns, from where? Why does he return? Why now? Yes these questions are sort of answered with a paragraph of text at the beginning of the movie, but that is more to quickly appease you before starting the movie. Think about it again, they never really answer any of those questions. The second problem is the movie is it isn’t about our favorite super hero, and more about the subsequent life of Lois Lane. And again, it is not even about their chemistry of those two. Brandon Routh has less dialogue than Drew Barrymore had in Scream, and she was killed before the opening credits. Then there is the diabolical take over the world plot, a standard in super hero movies which sickens me to death. In two and a half hours of Director Bryan Singer outlining this plot I still have no idea what was going on; something with crystals and them producing land masses when mixed with water? I feel much like Lex Luthor’s girlfriend Kitty when she says, “you mean like sea monkeys?” Somehow that also helped Luthor produce Kryptonite to keep Superman at bay or something like that. I really am not sure what that part of the movie was about, by again we know in the end Superman foils the plot, yet the bad guy gets away.

Like I stated earlier I had zero expectations when going to see this film, and yet somehow still came out unfulfilled. Now if you are a fan of these types of films, I have no doubt that you will probably enjoy it. There are plenty of action packed special effects driven scenes that people seem to think movie making is about now. As for me I much preferred Friday night when I turned on Turner Classic Movies and watched “On the Waterfront” with Marlon Brando & Eva Marie Saint and then “North by Northwest” with Cary Grant & Eva Marie Saint (I mention her because she plays Clark Kent’s mother in this version of Superman). Give me the classics every time.