Obviously, I know nothing

It has become abundantly clear that I am the dumbest college basketball fan/expert on the freaking planet. So far, through 16 games, I got a grand total of 8 correct and have already lost 25% of my sweet sixteen…….and we still have a whole day to go in the first round. Seriously, what the fuck am I doing? How could I possibly have picked so many games incorrectly, if I had somehow picked Southern over Duke they would have been beating the Blue Devils all game only to lose on a last second shot, that is my luck.

Just to give you an example of some of my bad luck, my big upset pick of the day was Pacific over Boston College and Utah State over Washington. Well fuck me in the goat ass, Pacific played their asses off and were leading in both overtime and double overtime only to puke the game away to Al Skinners boys. Utah State one of the better and more consistent offensive teams in the country playing a mediocre defensive team (see these are all the “intricacies” I know about all these teams that most of you clowns don’t, which is my apparent downfall) decides to turn the ball over 20+ times which killed them, because they shot almost 50% from the field.

And finally the two teams that have shattered my bracket the most are Nevada and Marquette. Yes, I was a huge believer in Nevada and had been telling anyone who would listen about it. I still am a believer in their team, but maybe that is my problem. I saw Nevada play about 7 times this season and watched their opponent Montana play twice. And even today if you asked me, I would still put all the money I had in the world on Nevada. Montana matches up poorly and don’t have nearly the talent that the Wolfpack does, but somehow that pulled it off. I watched every second of the game, and Montana executed so perfectly and hit every shot they absolutely needed too, honestly Coach Larry Krystoviak may as well retire because his team will never play as well again, ever.

Someone on Marquette’s coaching staff needs to be fired. They clearly did not scout Alabama very well. Jean Felix, the star of the game, had 31 points mostly propelled by his 8-11 shooting from behind the arc. I could have called Tom Crean and told him as long as you don’t give Felix open three’s with his feet set he wont do a damn thing to hurt you. Make him floor the ball and he will turn it over, and over, and over. Well somehow the staff of Marquette missed this little factoid, because watching the game it looked as if they had the exact opposite scouting report.

Well some of the players I highlighted in yesterdays column have already been eliminated, but they did perform at a supremely high level. Nick Fazekas had 25 and 12, while Pacific’s Christina Maraker poured in 30 points & 9 boards including the game tying 3 with less than 5 seconds to go in regulation, and Marquette’s Dominic James was superb in defeat scoring 20 points and dishing out 5 assists. Now to the awards for the day

PLAYER OF THE DAY: There were some great performances and some game winning shots, but my player of the game goes to some big white goofy guy, and no not Adam Morrison. Montana Center Adam Strait was the super doper star of the day. He scored 22 and dished out 7 assists from the center spot while playing almost the whole game. Whenever Nevada made a run and Montana needed a play they put the ball in Strait’s hands and he made the correct decision, whether it were calling his own number or dishing to a teammate. Down the stretch he hit a key jumper, then on the next possession drove and was fouled. Then basically with the game in the balance he made a move to the middle drew three defenders and calmly pitched out to a teammate for the nail in the coffin three.

GAME OF THE DAY: Two games went into extra sessions and three more ended on virtual buzzer beaters, and none of them were the game of the day. Nope, the best game to watch was Gonzaga vs. Xavier. The Musketeers came in as hot as anyone and were poised to take down the Zags, in a reverse Cinderella. The second half turned into a slug fest basically between Stanley Burrell and Adam Morrison, those battles usually go to Morrison as it did last night. The game was nip and tuck the whole second half and the Zags showed some moxy by pulling it out down the stretch on the wide shoulders of Mr. Morrison.

COACH OF THE DAY: This one is a no brainer; it goes to Montana Grizzlies Coach Larry Krystoviak. He had his team well prepared for its game against Nevada. He never let the Wolfpack make a serious run; he and his team always had an answer. They ran their offense so crisply it looked sometimes like they were running it against a practice team. The Grizzlies handed out 18 assists and turn the ball over only 8 times, shot 52% from the field and over 80% from the line. This team was prepared to win this game and executed perfectly and that is why they are moving on to round 2.

Things to look for

PLAYERS: While a #16 seed has a slim chance of winning there is reason to watch one of the 1-16 match-ups. Power Forward Caleb Green (Oral Roberts) is an animal in the paint, and if Memphis takes him lightly he will give the fits on the inside. It seems the SEC always has some player who is under the national radar, and that is no different this year. Maybe the most complete player in the country is Ronnie Brewer (Arkansas), he excels on both ends of the floor. At 6’7 he can defend the 1-4 spots and his ability to go in the lane and rise up, as well as hit the three pointer makes him a potent offensive weapon who led the SEC in scoring this season at over 18 PPG; hopefully the country will get to appreciate this unique talent. There are two young exciting point guards in this year’s tournament. The first is Mario Chalmers (Kansas), he has progressed all season long and has emerged as a leader for this young Jayhawk squad. Over the final 15 games of the season he scored in double digits 13 times while helping Kansas to a 14-1 finish. The other young PG is Dominic James (Marquette), he poured in double digit scoring in all but 2 Big East games and dished out 7 or more assists 11 times this season, all while averaging 5 boards a game for a 5’11 point guard. James is speedy & explosive and will turn the corner on any defender in the country. One of the best inside/outside players in the country is the seldom talked about Jeff Green (Georgetown). At 6’9 245 he can score in the paint with his back to the basket, but he also has the ability to draw his defender outside and drive the ball, and as a power forward has a pretty good assist/turnover ratio. Another inside/outside combo player is the big Swede Christian Maraker (Pacific). Maraker is a tremendous inside player who can score in a variety of ways, back to the basket, face up, and drive bigger slower defenders. He also has the ability to create for teammates and hit the outside Jumper when needed. The last player to look out for is the guy I have had a man crush on all year and that is Nick Fazekas (Nevada). Fazekas in my opinion is the third best player in the country, he can do it all on the basketball court. He scores from anywhere including being able to spot up from three. He is a game changing player with his ability to rebound and play defense, and offensively he can take over the game and will his team to victory.

COACH’S: I believe there are a number of coach’s who are on the hot seat even though their teams are repeatedly in the tournament, however they have yet to really do much in the big dance. Al Skinner (Boston College) has had a few big time teams that were supposed to make some noise in the tournament and they haven’t yet. This year’s team features two of the best players in the ACC and many people feel they are a final four caliber club. Over the past 7 or so years Mark Few’s (Gonzaga) team has been everyone’s darlings. Though as a higher seed in the tournament they are 3-4 in the big dance. I was one who thought they should have had a higher seed this season but it is time for them to put up or shut up this year. They have a nice veteran team led by the best player in the country. Everyone, including the professional gamblers out there, is picking Iona over LSU, and a lot of that is because of Coach John Brady (LSU). Brady has had some of the most talented players in the country but never seems to advance too far in the tournament. This season, led by Glen “Big Baby” Davis, he has an opportunity to bring his Tigers to national recognition. One of my picks to go far this year is Steve Alford’s (Iowa) Hawkeyes and it is about time. Alford has been at Iowa for 7 years now and these were the seasons he was supposed to be having, finally he has his team poised on the verge of a Final Four run. Lastly, I would not really say Rick Barnes (Texas) is on the hot seat, but he has maybe the most talented team in the country, it would be nice if he could get them back to the Final Four and seriously challenge for the National Title.

My Picks, don’t like ‘em, FUCK YOU

Finally, the time is here. All the pundits have weighed in with their opinions on who is going to the Final Four, and now is the time that The Expert gives his opinion. We will go region by region identifying the favorite, the sleeper, the overrated team and who will make it out of that region all the way to Indianapolis, where I am planning to be. (Be forewarned, I am the single worst prognosticater in the history of NCAA Tournament Brackets)

ATLANTA

Favorite: Obviously everyone, excpet for Dick Vitale, loves the Duke Blue Devils in this region. However, Mr. Vitale won’t shut up about how overrated they are, what a dumb bald idiot he is. Duke has everything you need except quality depth, which is why Texas is probably picked in as many office pools as Duke. Texas is talented and deep and lead by veterans, they are a co-favorite along with Duke

Sleeper: The Iowa Hawkeyes are flying way below the radar right now. They come off winning the Big 10 Tournament and are the least talked about 3 seed in the history of the tournament. They have beaten everyone there is to beat in the Big 10, they have an experienced team lead by the three superb upperclassman, Adam Haluska, Jeff Horner, and Greg Brunner. This team will make some serious noise before these three weeks are over.


Overrated: Syracuse is poised to fall flat on their face. They had a magical 4 days at Madison Square Garden, but they had to have those magical 4 days because through the course of the regular season they were a mediocre team. They deserve to have the number 5 seed because of there finish but the fact remains they have a terrible froncourt and basically no depth, if the Gerry McNamara show isn’t in town it could be another quick exit for the Orangmen (yeah I know it is Orange, but I hate those fancy PC new nicknames).

My Pick: I am going with the stunner here, Steve Alford is going back to the Final Four, this time as coach of the Iowa Hawkeyes. Like I said earlier, I love everything about this team, they are deep, battle tested and the have a great triplet of upperclassmen who have been making big shots all year. Overrall this region is not very strong and the Hawkeyes could really build up a head of steam with little or no pressure on them.



WASHINGTON, D.C.

Favorite: The UConn Huskies are the clear favorite here, but the certainly have a huge mountain to climb. This team has looked vulnerable down the stretch, yet they are the most talented team in the whole show, but when Michigan State is the #6 and Kentucky is the #8 seed you know the bracket is deep. As long as Marcus Williams stays on the floor the Huskies should stamp their ticket for Indy.

Sleeper: The Utah State Aggies earned their way in as an at large team. While many feel it was underserved, Stew Morrill’s group feels that they belong and they have the team to prove it. They are extremely sound defensively and Guard Jaycee Carroll is a good a scoring small guard as there is in the country. With there ability to grind it out and take solid shots on the offensive end they can frustrate impatient teams, and higher seeded teams usually get frustrated when smaller schools hang around in a game, and that is exactly what the Aggies do.

Overrated: The Tennessee Volunteers have already been discussed on this site, by my dislike for Bruce Pearl grows by the hour, so we will talk about it more. How could they possibly be seeded ahead of Florida, the SEC Tournament Champion, or LSU who defeated Tennessee and won the SEC regular season title? They are not deserving of a #2 seed, but unfortunately they may make it to the sweet 16 by way of the easiest draw ever, Bruce Pearl has obviously been providing Craig Littlepage with drugs and whores.

My Pick: I have thought all season that UConn was the best team in the country and I still think that today. They are deep, have championship experience, and a hall of fame coach. Like I have said as long as Marcus Williams stays on the court for 35 minutes a game they have the chance to rampage through this tournament.


OAKLAND

Favorite: This is the most wide open bracket there is, but I think the odds on favorite here is the Gonzaga Bulldogs, mainly because of the mustachioed hero Adam Morrison. He has become Paul Bunyan, and I think most people are skeptical of the #1 and #2 seeds, Memphis & UCLA, and people think this may finally be the year for Gonzaga to break on through to the other side. But as I said this bracket seems to be wide open with no real favorite.

Sleeper: The Marquette Warriors are definitely off people’s charts, but that also could be for a good reason. I think they could be one and done, or make a run toward a Final Four. They have one of the best shooters in the country in Steve Novak and point guard star in the making in Dominic James. Coach Tom Crean has tournament experience and the youth on this team is what can make it special, they simply don’t know any better.

Overrated: I just think the UCLA Bruins are about a year away. I think they are very talented but the Pac 10 was so weak this year. They do play a very hard nosed style of defense but I think their inability to score on the inside consistently could drop them early in the tournament, especially with teams like Alabama, Indiana, and Gonzaga who can all pound the ball inside.

My Pick: The one team I have not talked about in this bracket is the Pittsburgh Panthers. This team is easily the least known entity in the country. I have long thought they were overrated, but the more I watch them the more I realize they just know how to win ball games. Jaime Dixon’s team is so tough defensively and efficient offensively. They have a great deal of depth and mix of veterans, Carl Krauser & Aaron Gray and young talented players like, Sam Young and Levance Fields. Krauser is maybe the best big moment player in the country; he thrives on the pressure moment. He is the ultimate New York City player; he has the whole game, the trash talking, the pushing off and he gets inside the head of his opponents better than anyone.


MINNEAPOLIS

Favorite: Everyone loves the Wildcats of Villanova, especially if Allen Ray is in the mix this weekend, after suffering that terrible eye injury. The college game is all about guards, and nobody has better guards than Villanova. They can pressure you on defense all over the court and offensively they shoot the 3 as anyone and they penetrate with lethal effectiveness.

Sleeper: Nick Fazekas and the Nevada Wolfpack now have something to prove, being rewarded with a #5 seed and I think they well. Fazekas is a versatile big man who can fill it up and carry his team to big wins as he did in Kansas earlier this year. They also have a young and talented backcourt with sophomores Ramon Sessions and Macelus Kemp. Just look at this teams record and see the road games they won; at Louisiana Tech, New Mexico State, Vermont, UNLV, Kansas, Pacific, Fresno State and Utah State as well as beating Georgia at home and Akron on Bracket Buster weekend. This team will not be intimidated by playing anyone; Mark Fox will have his crew ready to go.

Overrated: I just don’t bye into Ohio State, I am not sure why, but I just don’t like their make up. Something about Thad Matta teams, I have seen them flame out before. Yes they won the Big 10 regular season and they have an impressive superstar in Terrance Dials, but I think they rely on the big 3 a little too much. I have seen it before teams who play a free flowing three point happy go lucky style, they usually don’t defend in transition or the three pointer themselves very well. I think Ohio State can be beat if they miss a few J’s early and their opponents can get out in transition.

My Pick: I have to go with my Florida Gators. Yes I have some what of an affinity for this team because I know their staff very well, but this team is very talented offensively and they have some young guys who just don’t know any better. This bracket is opened up for them and they can be a difficult team to match up with. Up front they have the 4 most talented post players in the country, and nobody outworks Power Forward Joakim Noah. The key to them will be the PG play of Taurean Green, if he stays out of foul trouble this team can be so very dangerous because of their ability to score from anywhere on the court: in transition, from the 3 pt line, and the ability to pound it inside between 3 different players, all can who can score in different ways.

I have Pittsburgh beating Iowa and Connecticut over Florida with Jim Calhoun and the Huskies cutting down the nets in a thrilling victory over Pittsburgh.

What a Joke

Who the hell is running the NCAA Tournament Selction Committee? Is it the same pranksters who came up with the great idea to give Keenen & Kel their own movie deal? Or is it the guy who said, "this Piscapo guy is a can't miss comedic talent." Maybe it was Edgerrin James agent, I mean after all he is the guy who said, "hey Edge, you know this Arizona thing may work out, and even if it doesn's you'll have a $11 mill. by weeks end." What the hell is going on here? Have you people actually looked at these damned brackets? Air fucking Force? They shouldn't be in a tournament that includes the 64 best service academies.

Now I haven't had much time to sit down and digest all of these things, my head is still spinning from the Gamecocks improbable run toward the SEC Championship this weekend. Even with losing the final game by 2 points the Gamecocks with 15 losses were more deserving than some of the at large teams. The Cincinnati Bearcats are also one of the bigger snubs of the year. What about Missouri State? Why have all these fancy RPI numbers if you are not going to use them? Missouri State had all these numbers backing up their case, but when push came to shove they were not chosen. Seriously, it looks as if the committee just picked names out of a hat. The seeds are even more random than the teams that made the dance.

The most overrated seed ever is Tennessee as a #2. And I am not just saying that because of my complete disdain for all things Tennessee, but because they do not deserve it. They got s a sky high RPI early in the season, but they have stumbled mightily down the stretch, losing 4 or their last 6 including my Gamecocks kicking their ass all over the Gaylord Entertainment Center in Nahsville during their first SEC Tournament game. Boston College and Pittsburgh both should have been hire up than they were. These two teams both have Final Four potential. Pittsburgh has the same seed as Nevada and the unlikely dancers, Syracuse. Nobody has bigger man crush's on Nevada's Nick Fazekas & Cuse's Gerry McNamara but their teams should not have the same seed as Pitt. As for BC they were about 45 seconds away from being the ACC Tournament champs and they are a 4 seed, behind teams like North Carolina and Tennessee.

I need some time to think about this damned tournament. Tommorrow we will have complete coverage of each region and the favorites and possible cinderella's and all that crap. Plsu we will also give you players and coach's who will be making names for themselves during the next two weeks.

Oscar Week: The Big Awards

Best Director
Ang Lee (Brokeback Mountain) Steven Speilberg (Munich) Bennett Miller (Capote) Paul Haggis (Crash) George Clooney (Good Night, and Good Luck)

Here is a category which features one of the all time greats going against relatively new movie directors, sans Ang Lee (Paul Haggis is an accomplished screen & television writer). Speilbergs Munich like all of his films is very well done, beautifully shot and edited flawlessy. However, I just don’t think he brought out enough in the characters to make me really care about them and that is what a director needs to do, much like he did in saving Private Ryan where you were screaming at Cpl. Upham to kill the German but you knew he wouldn’t. Bennett Miller’s first major motion picture Capote was nothing spectacular, but a great performance was given by Phillip Seymour Hoffman. If not for that performance the movie would have been ordinary at best, especially because of the lack of depth of anyone else in the movie. Paul Haggis did a great job directing Crash, and in any other year he would probably win this award. He really showed all point of the story well, some of that comes from also being the writer he understood the message he wanted to send. But again I keep coming back to these two movies, and now their two directors. Ang Lee was his usually brilliant self in directing Brokeback Mountain. He put forth such detail in the confusing lives of these two men who were trying to fight back the desires they were having. He used is unbelievable scenery as well and really had a great pace to the movie. George Clooney in only his second time out as a director really put his stamp on this movie. His character exploration in this movie is what is so stunning. He brings us inside that room and those few extraordinary men who wanted to challenge the status quo. The depth of Straitharne’s Edward R. Murrow was incredible even in a short film. It is a great achievement in Directing by Clooney. MY PICK: George Clooney PREDICTION: Brokeback Mountain

Best Picture
Brokeback Mountain, Good Night, and Good Luck, Capote, Crash, Munich


Well most of what needed to be said was said above. Here we have a perfect 5 for 5, the five directors pictures were all nominated for Best Picture; that is somewhat of a rarity. But as has been stated, I think it is really a two horse race. Brokeback Mountain was just an amazing movie, no matter what type of mind frame or prejudices one might go into the movie with, you are an idiot if you don’t think it was a brilliantly made movie and terrifically acted in as well. MY PICK: Brokeback Mountain PREDICTION: Brokeback Mountain.

Oscar Week: Best of the Best

Best Actress
Judi Dench (Mrs. Henderson Presents) Charlize Theron (North Country) Felicity Huffman (Transamerica) Reese Witherspoon (Walk the Line) Keira Knightley (Pride & Prejudice)

I have been wrestling with this category for awhile now. None of the performances were jump off the screen incredible, yet they were all perfectly played and solid in there own way. Judi Dench has no shot, because most people have never even heard or Mrs. Henderson Presents, though she was excellent. The one role that seems to have some buzz around It is that of Felicity Huffman in Transamerica, and don’t think that her popularity in Desperate Housewives doesn’t have something to do with it. I thought the movie was bad and her performance only ok, nothing special. I believe this is a three horse race, between Charlize Theron, Keira Knightley, and Reese Witherspoon. While North Country did not hit it big at all, Theron was excellent, maybe even better than her academy award winning role in Monster. Witherspoon is the big favorite in this category, but I thought she was only slightly above average here. The one performance I thought was great was that of Knightley’s. Hopefully voters are not swayed by some of her other recent performances like that in Domino and Pirates of the Caribbean. She took the part and ran with it in Pride & Prejudice; she was magnetic on the screen. Everything about her in the role was perfect and I hope she gets the credit she deserves. MY PICK: Keira Knightley PREDICTION: Reese Witherspoon


Best Actor
Heath Ledger (Broke back Mountain) Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Capote) David Strathairne (Good Night, and Good Luck) Joaquin Phoenix (Walk the Line) Terrence Howard (Hustle & Flow)

This is easily the most difficult category to choose for an Oscar in a long time. I cannot remember when you could honestly say all 5 nominees were totally deserving of this award. Four of the nominees are from Non-Major Studio films, that is unprecedented. Terrence Howard probably gives the best performance he will ever give and he has no shot at winning. For him to be nominated from such a film is a credit to the job he did, turning this “pimp wanna be rapper” into a character of such depth and courage. Joaquin Phoenix probably had the toughest job, especially after last year’s performance by Jaime Foxx. But Phoenix was excellent in his portrayal of the Country Music Legend. David Strathhairne and Phillip Seymour Hoffman also had the task of playing real people, but not nearly as well known as Johnny Cash. Hoffman was absolutely stunning as famed author Truman Capote; he was one of those guys who became the character throughout the movie. He seems to have gotten deep down inside Truman Capote to bring out this selfishness that drove this man to the sick twisted lengths that he went to in order to write his acclaimed novel, “In Cold Blood.” Strathairne on the other hand had the opportunity to introduce most of America to the best Television journalist ever, Edward R. Murrow. Following Murrow through his courageous crusade against Senator Joseph McCarthy, Strathairne plays Murrow with the perfect pitch and never becomes too preachy or self serving in his role. I firmly believe he would win in almost any other year, except this year he is slamming into a juggernaut. As great as all those other performances, Heath Ledger gives an all time performance in Brokeback Mountain. Honestly, it is up there with any performance you can think of: Marlon Brando, Robert DeNiro, Jack Nicholson, Tom Hanks, Humphrey Bogart. His character so detailed, so layered and in the end yet so vulnerable to his own feelings which he thought had been betraying him his whole life. He took this movie from ordinary to extraordinary, and displayed an enormous amount of talent which I don’t think anyone knew he had. MY PICK: Heath Ledger PREDICTION: Phillip Seymour Hoffman