Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Daily Nooner

Attica! Attica!
Well it is the day after the State of the Union address, and I shall not be addressing that issue. Sometimes I feel semipolitical and really pay attention and watch things like this, and then other times I feel as blasé as Martin does about the whole thing. Today is certainly the latter, instead of watching W yap on about who knows what I watched Two for the Money, starring Al Pacino and Mathew Mcgohannyndyeheee. Actually, the movie was not nearly as terrible as I thought it would be, however Pacino was his annoying self as usually. Seriously, is there any actor who has fallen so far of the I used to be a good actor train than Mr. Pacino. I mean really folks, this guy was great, we are talking Brando great and then in the 90’s he just started yelling and cursing a lot. He had some great movies in the 90’s like Glengarry Glen Ross, Donnie Brasco, and Carlito’s Way, but then he had a whole lotta garbage. But as I always tell “Pacino” fans if you want to see him at his absolute best just rent Dog Day Afternoon.

Radio is a sound salvation, Radio is cleaning up the nation
I do not know what happened at media day yesterday, or who went around asking that one stupid question because I did not watch any super bowl coverage. I try to stay away from all that as much as I can. However, while in the car I flip back and forth between ESPN and Fox sports Radio, because there is only so much Kanye West a man can listen to on the radio. Well all these silly radio hosts are of course at the Super Bowl, in what they call Radio Row, where every sports station in America is this week. And all that happens on these shows is people just walk by and pick up headsets and talk about what party they went to last night, or who else they were hanging out with, or some other nonsense. Nobody talks about the actual fucking game, you know the reason all you overpaid assclowns are actually there. Monday I heard Rich Eisen guest spot on four different shows. I did not want to hear what he had to say on the first show never mind the fourth.

Newman: I'm a United States postal worker.
George Costanza: Aren't those the guys that always go crazy and come back with a gun and shoot everybody?

It has been awhile but finally the other day we had a good ole fashion post office multiple murder suicide. Monday evening after being fired some female postal worker in California came back and just opened up a barrage of gunfire and mowed down about 10 people, and then of course like a fucking coward she turned the gun on herself. That is the only thing I do not like about the modern day spree killing, is that the gunmen always kill themselves. Back in the days of John Dillinger and Pretty Boy Floyd these guys would then try and shoot their way out and go down in a hale of gunfire.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

During WWII Chuck Norris shot down a German plane by pointing his finger at is and simply said, "Bang"!

3:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probabiltiy of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Fuck was That?"

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Chuck Norris did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.

7:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After returning from World War 2 unscathed, Bob Dole was congratulated by Chuck Norris with a handshake. The rest is history.

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everytime someone asks Chuck Norris what time it is he says, "Two seconds till." When they ask "Two seconds till What?" He delivers a swift roundhouse kick to the face.

9:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.

9:39 AM  

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