Wednesday, December 15, 2004

For Andrew

Pro Football Blows!!!! That is why I do not write about it much.

I absolutely despise pro football now. I grew up (as you know) in a household where pro football was all the rage. And I am glad it was so, because back then pro football ruled. There were legitmate great teams and great players on every team. I hate parody!!! I know Dan and Andrew will both vehimently disagree with me, but hey they were both born Jewish (I have no idea what that is supposed to mean).

I get so sick of watching teams march up and down the field, and then when they get in the hint of field goal range they just run the ball three straight times, trot out some small white guy, who claims to be a "football player", to kick a ball through to yellow sticks. The NFL stands for National Fieldgoal League. I hate it.

The New England Patriots are cool and yeah they win a lot of games and will probably win their 3rd Super Bowl in 4 years, but come one folks are they really a great team? Tom Brady bites my anus, hell he couldn't start over Drew Henson at Michigan and now he is the second coming of Johnny Unitas? The teams now adays that are great could not compete 10,15, or 20 years ago. Do you really think that this years Patriots or Steelers would have a snowballs chance in hell at beating the '85 Bears or 49ers Championship teams? I do not think they could even beat the Bronco or Buffalo (for you Andrew) teams that kept losing in Super Bowls.

Before this NFL Season do you realize that teams led by Matt Hasselback and Jake Plummer were good picks to win the SuperBowl. I'll repeat, teams led by Matt Hasselback and Jake Plummer. Have you ever seen these bums play football? What is worse is their respective coach's are revered as two of the best in the game. And they chose to go to war with Matt Hasselback and Jake Plummer.

The last ten or so years has slowly weened me of football, due to the lack of great teams and great players. Over the first 29 SuperBowls we were treated to a Hall of Fame QB Match-up 11 times. In the last nine years we were treated to such an event once, and that was with Favre & Elway at the end of his career. In those same 29 SuperBowls 65% of the starting QB's are or will be Hall of Famers. The last nine super Bowls have treated us 5 Hall of Famers out of 18 Starters for a robust 27%. Of the SuperBowl MVP's in the first 29 years 23 Hall of Famers are on that list compared to 2 from the last nine SuperBowls.

That is why I do not talk about football. I hate parody, I hate everyone having a shot. Yes I want to be a n elitist American and whoever has the most money can do whatever they want, that is why Baseball rules. Have you seen the NFC Playoff picture this year? How is that fun for anyone?

VIVA LA RESISTANCE!!!!!!

3 Comments:

Blogger THE INNOVATOR said...

Dan,

Thanks for clearing up my grammer as always. You are so smart, being Jewish and all. But all you did with most of your points is reaffirm why I hate the NFL. I just don't like watching terrible teams and terrible players play. I also did not say every player on those teams were great. I said they had more great players than the teams of today. Every team has it's share of losers like Gary Fencik, Jeff Fisher, Lionel Manuel, and Bobby Johnson (DB's and WR's from the Bears and Giants). I also never said anything about the '86 Giants.

I feel I am watching a watered down product especial with the advent of the Field Goal as I mentioned. Field Goals suck, I hate them. And yes they are drastically up I did a study of it last year and over the past tens years that is all teams do. You may like it, I think it blows monkey ass. We have different viewpoints and that is great, but as always I am right, you know that.

Lastly, the most compelling sport is one you do not happen to see on a daily basis and that is watching bad women drivers try to park there SUV's without taking out everything within a half mile radius.

Peace & Love

KD

2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I grew up in a Jewish town and went to more Bar and Batmitvizah than I can possibly spell correctly, so that gives me something like a leg to stand on in this post.
The NFL sucks to people like Kris and myself because as Giants fans, we have seen the parity up close and personal year after year.
Back when we were all younger and drinking iced tea from the Deblasio fridge, you knew the Giants would play competitive football every week because Parcells demanded it.
Since he left, we've had a bunch of babysitters while we wait for the next Great One.
Unfortunetly, The Rock doesn't wrestle anymore.
Parity is a sorry Giants team in 1998 and 1999 getting hot for a six game span and make reaching the Super Bowl look easy, only to have reality slap them in the face in the form of Ray Lewis and the Killers.
College football sucks not because of the BCS. We all forget that without it, Oklahoma wouldn't even be thinking about playing USC. They would be headed to the Orange to play Auburn and USC would face Michigan.
I know that looks fine and all, but what when Utah and Bosie State win their respective bowl games? Sure, they're smaller schools and would get killed by so and so, but until they get on the field, you can't prove that at all.
Personally, the BCS would be cool if Utah was playing Auburn and we would be left with only three undefeated after the bowl season. Then the No. 1 and 2 could be argued - we can always annex Idaho to shut up Bosie State.
All of this talk is the reason that Kris will stop reading after this, but this is why I've started paying attention to the only spot that should be called football, meaning the one WHERE YOU USE YOUR FUCKING FEET 90 PERCENT OF THE TIME
Or as Americans call it - soccer.
When I say soccer, I'm talking about European leagues, not the crap they pitch off to brain dead moms whose kids run around like chickens on the weekends, AKA the MLS.
In Europe, they have 20 teams to a league and each team plays everyone twice. The team with the most points at the end of the year wins the title - That's it. No playoffs, no polls, no computer rankings, no debate - it's settled on the field, or pitch, and that's that.
Dana Stubblefield sucked before, during and after his Def. POY award, Dan is a Great Jew (I still love that line) and Duke's been getting those calls since I can remember. I wish people would stop calling Ron Artest's failed music move a rap album and would someone please explain to me why the Mets signing Pedro Martinez is such a bad move for a team that lost 90 games last year.
People that say it's bad for Pedro, I ask you one thing - What the fuck else does he have to prove to anyone? He's got the Cy Youngs, better numbers than Sandy Koufax, he was a pretty big part of helping lift the curse that he said he would (You can bad mouth him for his performance against the Yankees, but the wins over Anaheim and St. Louis were pretty big), he's got the World Series ring and in what everyone calls a horrible year, he went 16-9 with a 3.90 ERA.
Did anyone every think that he wants to conquer New York City? That he wants to be the biggest star in the biggest media market in the world? That he wanted to come to NY and when the Yankees wouldn't bite, the Mets was a suitable option becuase of the same reason beachfront real estate sells - location, location, location.
Suzy Wong, ruler of the West Side of Springfield OUT

2:43 PM  
Blogger THE INNOVATOR said...

Zoltan,

Again you made my point for me. Brady won Super Bowls with Antowain Smith, that is fucking terrible. Back in the day if you had some as bad as Antowaine Smith you lost the Super Bowl (ask John Elway, and see Sammy Winder). I agree with you that they Patriots are well coached so they would have a chance when playing anyone, that is true. However, again you make my point for that the league cannot not be played at that high a level if a guy is playing Cornerback & leading his team in INT's and he has not played the position since high school. To me that is a terrible thing.

By the way John Elway was right handed.

p.s.
Don't hate Antowain cause he never panned out for your beloved Bills.

7:36 AM  

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