The One and Only, NFL Preview

AFC EAST:

New England Patriots- the Pats are still the class of this Division. As long as they have Tom Brady and Bill Belichik I am going to pick them to win the Division. Some may think that the loss of their Defensive Coordinator for the second straight season may hurt, but with vets like Rodney Harrison, Teddy Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, Richard Seymour and 6 other returning starters on defense they wills till be solid on that side of the ball. Plus there is no better schemer on defense than Belichik. Outside of the Division the Pats have a manageable road schedule with their only tough game at Cincinnati.
RECORD 11-5

Miami Dolphins- Last season the Dolphins finished as strong as anyone, and they added Daunte Culpepper. Perhaps the most important factor is their offensive line comes back in tact to block for 2nd year man Ronnie Brown. Defensively they are solid in the front seven but they lack quality depth in their secondary (take it from a Giants fan who watched Will Allen be mediocre for too long). Nick Saban is a star coach in the making and he can win 2 or 3 game by himself this year.
RECORD 10-6 WILD CARD

New York Jets- New Head Coach Eric Mangini is trying to instill that same type of discipline and workmanship that he learned under Bill Belichik (someone tell the Jets they once had Belichik as their coach, well for a day). The Jets biggest problem is they are going to stink on offense. I no longer believe in Chad Pennington, they are starting two rookies on the offensive line (Nick Mangold at Center & D’Brickashaw Ferguson at LT), and their starting RB is Kevan Barlow. So they might not score very much, but their defense is pretty solid. They added Defensive End Kimo von Oelhoffen to their defensive front and they have an aggressive and fast improving young secondary that can force some turnovers with Justin Miller, Erik Coleman and Kerry Rhodes. Too bad the defense will spend too much time out on the field due to the ineptitude of the offense.
RECORD 6-10

Buffalo Bills- Looking at the pieces they have on offense you would think they would be decent. They have a solid starting line, Willis McGahee is a good back and receivers Lee Evans & Peerless Price are solid. However the QB situation is still up in the air; JP Losman is the starter but Kelly Holcombe could be put in at any time. There defense is a unit that could use some work, though Defensive End Aaron Schoble had a breakthrough season with 12 sacks last year. And let’s not forget the X-Factor the 35-50 Head Coach Dick Jauron. This team is destined for another top 15pick this season, unfortunate for a fan base that is overdue for a competitive team.
RECORD 6-10

AFC NORTH:

Baltimore Ravens- Count me in as a believer in the Steve McNair experiment in Baltimore. He already has a solid relationship with veteran receiver with Derek Mason. Mark Clayton and Todd Heap are very good receiving options and even with the uncertainty of Jamaal Lewis they have a proven backup in Mike Anderson. Their line returns three 16 game starters which should help protect McNair. On defense they are always solid, and this year a healthy Ray Lewis and a healthy Terrell Suggs should wreak havoc on opposing QB’s. In the secondary they are spectacular with perennial MVP candidate Ed Reed and veteran corners Samari Rolle and Chris McAllister. I think they could be the best team in the AFC this year.
RECORD 10-6

Cincinnati Bengals- I am not really sure what I don’t like about the Bengals, it would all seem to be there for them to be the class of their Division, and they don’t even have a Hasselbeck on the team. I guess the uncertainty with Carson Palmer and his knee worriers me. Anthony Wright as a backup QB is not something to get excited about. Otherwise on offense they have all the ingredients, a line that has been together for 4 consecutive years, a proven back in Rudi Johnson and maybe the best core of receivers in the league (C. Johnson, TJ Houshmandzadeh, and A. Chatman). Their defense is solid but I don’t see any big time playmakers and you never know when six or seven of them might go and get themselves arrested. Lastly their schedule is no cupcake, they have road games at Kansas City, Tampa Bay, and Denver and they get Carolina at home, which are all very losable games.
RECORD 8-8

Pittsburgh Steelers- Yes they are the defending Super Bowl Champions but that team that won it and this team are vastly different. There are just too many questions. Can they really win games with Charlie Batch? Can Willie Parker carry the whole load? What is Bill Cowher’s future? Can they replace the versatility of Antwaan Randle-El? All those questions and road games at San Diego, Jacksonville, Atlanta, and Carolina could be an ominous sign for the Steel Curtain. I think making the playoffs would be an accomplishment for this team.
RECORD 8-8

Cleveland Browns- The Browns under Romeo Crennel are a steadily improving team, they just happen to be in a real strong division. Charlie Frye has been given the reign’s full time and he has some weapons at his disposal with Ruben Droughns, Joe Jurevicius, Dennis Northcutt and the fast recovering Braylon Edwards. The added some veterans on defense like Ted Washington and Willie McGinest to an already top 15 defense. Crennel will keep this team competitive all season long, but they just don’t have enough proven playmakers on both sides of the ball yet to make the playoffs.
RECORD 7-9


AFC CENTRAL:

Indianapolis Colts- Ahhh, they don’t have Edgerrin James right? The year James was injured they only won 6 games lead by Dominic Rhodes, but this team is very different. At this point they are a well oiled machine and they still have Manning, Harrison, Wayne, and Stokely on offense and Freeney, Raheem Brock, Mike Doss, Bob Sanders among others on defense. Plus there division is fairly week so I think they should roll to another playoff appearance and division title.
RECORD 12-4

Houston Texans- Again, another team bandwagon I am jumping on. David Carr has been a better than average QB when he is actually on two feet, but he spends most of his time on his back. His offensive line is healthy and they return 4 veteran starters which should help him with time in the pocket and be able to find Andre Johnson and free agent Eric Moulds down the field. Coach Gary Kubiak brings his highly effective rushing offense from Denver and the season ending injury to Domanick Davis may be a blessing. Rookie Wali Lundy fits the cut back style of running that Kubiak prefers rather than the bruising Davis. The Texans defense has been a fairly solid unit except for their inability to rush the passer; enter first round pick Mario Williams who should help that. If they can protect this year they will be a playoff contender.
RECORD 10-6 WILD CARD

Jacksonville Jaguars- I just think the time is about up for Jack Del Rio here in Jacksonville and the same can be said for Byron Leftwich. Leftwich is very injury prone and has not played a full season and only completed 60% of his passes once. Running Back Fred Taylor is long past his prime and their receiving core is headed up by a white QB turned receiver (what is this bizarro world?). And on their defense I barely know who the guys are, so I can’t even give an honest analysis.
RECORD 6-10

Tennessee Titans- the Titans are clearly in a rebuilding mode. They traded away the franchises best player in Steve McNair in favor of questionable rookie Vince Young, or seldom used backup Billy Volek. They signed veteran center Kevin Mawae to help sure up the running game which will be a two headed monster of Chris Brown and Travis Henry. On defense they still have some playmakers that can help keep them in games. Defensive End Kyle Vanden Bosch lead the AFC in sacks last season and veteran LB Keith Bulluck is still a stud. Unfortunately the Titans play at Indianapolis, San Diego, Miami, and Washington as well as playing the Pats, Giants and Ravens. The schedule coupled with their inexperience at QB will lead to a long season in the Music City.
RECORD 5-11

AFC WEST:

Denver Broncos- I hate picking Jake Plummer teams almost as much as I hate picking Hasselbeck lead franchises. But if you look around this division, everyone else stinks and the Broncos are solid. Who cares who the RB is all five of their lineman started all 16 games last year. They added disgruntled Packer Wide Receiver Javon Walker as another target for Plummer. Defensively they have a solid core of veterans like John Lynch, Al Wilson, and Champ Bailey. This team will be atop the division all year, even if they go through a QB change to rookie Jay Cutler.
RECORD 11-5

San Diego Chargers- Well it is time for Phillip Rivers to show why he was sort of the number 1 pick. What he should learn quickly is that LaDainian Tomlinson is lined up behind him. Rivers is going to be the source of much scrutiny this year if his team does not make the playoffs. On defense the Chargers are decent and they do have a superstar waiting in the wings in Shawne Merriman. If Rivers can limit his mistakes and Coach Schottenheimer rely’s on his defense they have a chance to make the playoffs.
RECORD 8-8

Kansas City Chiefs- This team is getting old really quick and under new coach Herm Edwards they may struggle. Trent Green’s numbers look to be on the decline and receiver Eddie Kennison is in his 11th season. Larry Johnson still has yet to prove that he can last an entire season behind a revamped offensive line. Defensively this team is not real strong except in the secondary with Ty Law, Sammy Knight, and Patrick Surtain but again they are getting a little long in the tooth.
RECORD 7-9

Oakland Raiders- Aaron Brooks? Aaron Brooks, really are you fucking kidding me?
Their offensive line is weak with three new starters and while their receivers have big time names, they haven’t done anything of consequence lately. Defensively they are atrocious. They are thinking that Warren Sapp may have a rebirth or something, but he hasn’t had a productive season since 2002. Plus Aaron Brooks is the starting fucking quarterback, hello????????????????
RECORD 0-16 because I hate Aaron Brooks that much

NFC EAST:

New York Giants- Yes, I am a believer, mostly because I think Eli Manning is about to become the same level superstar as his older brother. For some reason people don’t think he is any good, but last I checked in his first full season as a starter he lead his team to a division title. He has as many weapons in his arsenal as anyone; Tiki Barber, Plaxico Burress, Amani Tumor, and Jeremy Shockey. Young receiver Tim Carter is coming into his own and the improving offensive line brings back all 5 starters. On defense Strahan and Umenyiora cause QB’s to quake in their boots. Their secondary looks to be improved with the signing of veterans Sam Madison, RW McQaurters, and Will Demps. They do have a challenging road schedule coming at Seattle, Atlanta, and Carolina.
RECORD 12-4

Dallas Cowboys- Okay the TO situation will loom all season long, but I know Parcells will not let it affect the team, because if it does Parcells will cut his ass. Offensively the line may be a problem for the Cowboys. If they can find someone to protect Bledsoe will be able to fins Owens, Terry Glenn, and Jason Witten and RB Julius Jones could have a breakout year. Defensively they are as good as anyone in the league. Their linebacker core is lead by two young superstars in Demarcus Ware and Bradie James and in the secondary Terrence Williams and Roy Williams make for a solid secondary. This is the make or break year for Parcells and Bledsoe and they are both born winners.
RECORD 11-5 WILD CARD

Philadelphia Eagles- Again the Eagles running game will struggle behind a weak and revamped offensive line and the injury prone Brian Westbrook. At receiver they have some unproven yet promising players with Reggie Brown and recently acquired Donte’ Stallworth. Defensively they are building from the back to the front, which seems to be the wrong thing. Their defensive line is we3ak and their linebackers are okay, but the secondary may still be the best in the business with corners Lito Sheppard & Sheldon Brown and safety Brian Dawkins. Too bad the line won’t get much pressure on the QB so Brown and Sheppard will have a lot of trouble covering guys without much help from the linebackers.
RECORD 7-9

Washington Redskins- This team’s offense is so bad. They have a veteran offensive line that other teams could make more use out of, but instead they get to block for Ledell Betts and Mark Brunell. Brunell has not completed 60% of his passes in a full season since 2001. At receiver they have the best return team ever with Moss, Randle El, and David Patten and journeymen Brandon Lloyd. Defensively this team is as good as their offense is terrible. The linebackers are solid and at safety they have two big time players in Sean Taylor and Adam Archuleta. Just like last season the defense will keep them in it so their offense can lose the games at Indianapolis, Tampa Bay and St. Louis.
RECORD 7-9

NFC NORTH:

Minnesota Vikings- As I told you people last year in my preview the Vikings biggest problem was the loss of all world center Matt Birk. Well they get Birk back and they added the best guard in the game from Seattle Steve Hutchinson. Put the underrated Chester Taylor at RB and the always reliable Brad Johnson under center and you have a recipe for success. Troy Williamson on the outside will get his chance to be the number 1 wide out with the arrest and release of Koren Robinson. On the other side of the ball they are solid with Kenechi Udeze, EJ Henderson and Darren Sharper anchoring each part of the Defense. In a weak division with the improvements they have made they should be back atop the division.
RECORD 11-5

Chicago Bears- If Rex Grossman can stay healthy they can be average again, I guess. They are down to their third string running back to start the year, Thomas Jones and receivers Mushin Muhammed and Bernard Berrian are as average as they come. Defensively they are exceptional. On the ends they have Adewale Ogunleye and Alex Brown and they have the best middle linebacker in the game still in Brian Urlacher. In the defensive backfield they have some of the biggest playmakers in the league with Mike Brown and Nathan Vashar. Their defense always keeps them in games and even wins them for coach Lovie Smith.
RECORD 10-5

Green Bay Packers- For about the 4th season in a row the offensive line is a work in progress, but Favre seems determined to have a good final year, and we all know he can will things to happen on a football field. If Ahman Green can come back and be solid they could have a good running back rotation with he and Samkon Gado. No longer are their any cancers on the team and Favre loves his new offense under coach Mike McCarthy, and he has his two favorite targets back & healthy in Robert Ferguson and Donald Driver. Defensively they are improving and they are hoping the additions of Charles Woodson and drafting AJ Hawk will help sure up the backfield. Middle Linebacker Nick Barnett is the best MLB nobody has heard off and Aaron Kampman and Kabeerr Gbaja-Biamila aare solid on the line.
RECORD 9-7

Detroit Lions- I drank the Texans kool aid, but am unwilling to take a sip of the Lions. Jon Kitna is certainly an improvement over Joey Harrington, but Kitna only gets you to a certain level of mediocrity. The offense will be wide open but Kitna does not have too many weapons. Third year RB Kevin Jones has to show more versatility to play under Martz offense and Roy Williams needs to be the consistent star that he has shown the potential to be. Up front on both sides of the ball they are patching things together because of injuries. Defensively they have a a weak linebacking core as well and the secondary lacks quality depth on any level. Will the Lions be better than they have been, probably, but they won’t make a serious run until they get a real QB (TRADE FOR MATT SCHAUB).
RECORD 6-10

NFC SOUTH:

Carolina Panthers- As always I am driving the Panther express bandwagon. There isn’t anything I don’t like about this team, I want to adopt the bastard love child of Jake Delhomme and John Fox. Offensively they are improved by adding Keyshawn Johnson to help elviate the pressure on Steve Smith. They have a solid offensive line anchored by Jordan Gross and Travelle Wharton at the tackle spots, and DeShaun Foster can be a top flight running back, and his backup DeAngelo Williams is just as good. On the other side they are as good as it gets; a healthy Kris Jenkins and Julius Peppers on the line, hard hitting Thomas Davis at linebacker and the addition of run stopper Shaun Williams at safety. Their corners are two of the best in the league in Ken Lucas and Chris Gamble and they don’t need much help, they prefer playing out on an island which allows them to blitz more than most teams. They have a manageable schedule too, with road games at Philadelphia, Washington and Cincinnati which are winnable for a team of this caliber.
RECORD 12-4

Tampa Bay Buccaneers- All the things you here about Chris Simms after his first season as a starter are the same things that made his father into a winner. His teammates all love him, he gets along with everyone on offense & defense, the players on offense respect him and his leadership in the huddle, and they and Coach Gruden believe in him as their leader. Simms has some help on offense too, a solid offensive line who brings back every starter, the Cadillac running the football and Joey Galloway & Mark Clayton on the outsides. And we all know the defense will be productive due to the continuity of having the same coach (Monte Kiffin) and a core of Pro Bowlers in Derrick Brooks, Anthony McFarland, Simeon Rice, Shelton Quarles, Brian Kelley, and Ronde Barber. If they were in any other division I would probably pick them to win it, because talent wise I think they are the second best team in the league behind Carolina.
RECORD 10-6 WILD CARD

Atlanta Falcons- Ron Mexico….er.. I mean Michael Vick is still the QB right? Well that just doesn’t excite, and nor does anything else on their offense. The top 3 receivers on the team including new addition Ashley Lelie caught 7 TD passes and their starting RB Warrick Dunn rushed for 3. Couple that with a QB who couldn’t in water from a boat most of the time and you have recipe for a bad offensive football team. On defense they are okay especially with the additions of John Abraham and Lawyer Malloy to a defense that already has Keith Brooking, Patrick Kearny and the best cover man in the league in DeAngelo Hall. But that defense wont be able to make up for the anemic offense. Seriously, Roddy White is one of your starting receivers, and Vick at QB? Does Vick still get you all excited and get your blood pumping? I guess if you like incomplete passes he does (START MATT SCHAUB OR TRADE HIM).
RECORD 7-9

New Orleans Saints- I could go low here and make an all out distasteful review by using Hurricane jokes, but I won’t. This team just stinks all around, they could have 7 Reggie Bush’s and it wouldn’t make a difference. Drew Brees is lining up behind one of the most impotent offensive lines in the league and turning around to handoff to a guy with bad knees or a guy who never carried the load in a college game, let alone an NFL game. The one thing to watch the Saints for over the last few years is to see what Joe Horn would do when he scores, well that isn’t going to happened much on this team. Not to be outdone, their defense stinks worse than their offense. They are starting a guy at middle linebacker who has 8 career tackles and a D-Tackle who has played in 3 career games over 2 seasons. Well at least Aaron Brooks isn’t there QB anymore.
RECORD 1-15

NFC WEST:

St. Louis Rams- This is my big surprise pick of the year. I like what the Rams have, and what they don’t have anymore (Mike Martz). Marc Bulger is still a very good NFL QB and this year I think Stephen Jackson will emerge as the best RB in the league. He is versatile and gives new head coach Scott Linehan optio on how he can use Jackson, especially with the addition of veteran Stephen Davis as a back-up. Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt are still two of the games best and 4th year wideout Kevin Curtis is emerging as a big play maker. On defense they have a good line and some playmaking linebackers in Will Witherspoon and Pisa Tinoisamoa, but I love the fact that Linehan hired former head coach’s Jim Haslett and Rick Venturi to run his defense. I think that veteran presence on his defensive coaching staff will help him focus mainly on making the offense back into one of the best in the league.
RECORD 11-5

Arizona Cardinals- The Cardinals will be one of the more improved teams in the league but I will not vault them up into playoff contention just yet. They are building a solid nucleus on offense with receivers Anquan Boldin, Larry Fitzgerald and Bryant Johnson. The running game struggled last season so they Cards went out and nabbed Edgerrin James to help out veteran QB Kurt Warner. All that should help the Cards offense be one of the more consistant in the league behind Head Coach Dennis Green. On defense they have some big play makers like LB Karlos Dansby and James Darling and along the defensive front End Bertrand Berry and Chike Okefor are solid pass rushers. This team will show sings of improvement this season and most importantly their offense needs to gert some reps with QB f the future Matt Leinart.
RECORD 8-8

Seattle Seahwaks- Alright we all know I have an irrational dislike for all things Hasslebeck. I just think Seattle suffers one of the post super bowl slump seasons. The loss of Guard Steve Hutchinson was huge, that and Walter Jones nursing a bad shoulder already before the season could slow down the record breaking rushing attack of Shaun Alexander. Defensively they return almost all of their starters from last year and MLB Lofa Tatupu is among the leagues best. They have tough road games at Denver, Tampa Bay, and Chicago as well as home contests against the Giants (who had them dead to rights last season) and Minnesota.
RECORD 8-8

San Francisco 49ers- In doing research for this piece I discovered that San Francisco does indeed have a professional football team. After interviewing some people in the Bay Area most of them seem to remember that they were once a proud franchise. And now they are lead by Alex Smith. Seriously, after spending about 4 hours writing this preview I have to try and come up with something to say about the 49ers? Well you know what, Fuck you people, the 49ers bite monkey ass, how about that!
RECORD 3-13

AFC PLAYOFFS
Patriots, Ravens, Colts and Broncos.
Wild Card- Dolphins and Texans

NFC PLAYOFFS
Giants, Vikings, Panthers, St. Louis
Wild Card- Cowboys and Buccaneers