Showing my Versatility
Once again I will display why I am the most intelligent, versatile and wittiest writer on this terrible Blog site. Okay, I am the only writer on this site, but hey I need all the self praise and adulation I can get. Today's topics will have a range in them the size of Jenna Jameson's stretched out verticle smile.
Yasser Arafat is dead, and I could not be happier. There is no single person who has done more to hinder the abilty to make peace in the Middle East than the late Mr. Arafat. This fucking guy has a Nobel Peace Prize and Osama Bin Laden's mantle is empty? We need to get the Academy to rectify this situation. He bullied his way into power in the 1960's. In 1972 he
helped orchestrate the slaying of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics. He led numerous terrorist attacks on the people of Israel. There is no better news than this guy being dead. I know some say it may lead to more unrest, but could they find a bigger horses ass to run the Palestinian cause, I doubt it. Of course I am not sure that Arafat is dead yet. According to those in the Palestinian power structure Arafat was not sick at all when he was transferred to a French hospital. Just yesterday as reports of his declining health and impending death were surfacing, everything was fine, he was doing well. These Palestinian officials must have gone to the "Moham-med Saeed al-Sahaf School of Public Information & Journalism." For those who missed that joke, suck on it!!! Ding dong the Arafat is dead; Hussein is captured now all we
have to do is get Castro, Jong Il, and Rumsfeld out of power and peace will be ours.
Now let's get down to some serious business. Yup that's right, the Steve Spurrier rumors. For those not in Columbia, SC and only recently hearing about the rumors through ESPN you have missed out on 6 weeks of speculation and "inside source information." The internet has certainly changed our lives, and this Spurrier nonsense is a perfect example. Basically some
knuckleheads began rambling on about how we need Steve Spurrier to come to South Carolina and coach. Well once one guy runs with it, everyone has a cousin's neighbor's dog's past owner who once sold toiler paper to Ms. Spurrier when they lived in Durham while he was coaching Duke. It started out with him buying a house on Lake Murray here in Columbia (which would make very little sense since the school has a bought a house for the last 3 football coach's who have been hired here) and him openly lobbying for membership at Augusta National (President Hootie Johnson is a USC Alumn and good friend to Lou Holtz and AD Mike McGee). None of which is true. The internet speculation has picked up so much that some decision makers in the USC hierarchy thought it might be a good idea. So the fact is they have tried to contact Spurrier and his handlers, but that is as far as it goes. However, if you read the internet you would have found out that Holtz told his staff Wednesday night that he was retiring and that Spurrier was indeed going to take over. This internet has taken over this entire story. The fact is South Carolina has some appeal to Spurrier. Again, I am cautious to say it is a perfect fit for a few reasons; He is going to cost a great deal of money (upwards of 3 million) which is alot for a 60 yr old coach, secondly the reason he does not want to go back to Florida is because of the new school president who is a scholarly man and demands that his coach's and athletes are as well. Here at USC we also have a president who is not a fan of athletics as a whole, when we hired him away from Alabama the Crimson Tide athletic department had a party. Lastly, Spurrier hates recruting more than I hate white people. He would have to recruit his ass off in Columbia as opposed to Gainesville where you just take the recruit to one Wet T-Shirt contest and he is yours for life. Also the Ole Ball Coach has been known to change his mind; in 1995 he told the
Tampa Bay Bucs that he was their guy and then backed off and the same guy who told Dan Snyder thanks, but no thanks, then a day later called back and accepted the job. So please, let's all take it easy with the Steve Spurrier stuff. I still believe the perfect fit for him is at the University of Texas (just my hunch).
Have you people ever heard of this thing called the NBA? Of course you have, but much like voting for W or buying a Clay Aiken CD you all deny that you watch the association, but if someone started talking about it at the water cooler you would throw in your 763 cents. Yes the Associaion is our guilty sports pleasure, face it, it is fun to watch tall black guys dunk on other tall black guys, especially for small white guys who have no idea what a rim up close looks like (Darby, you not included I have seen your old ass get up for the downstroke). However, I find the major problem with pro hoops is now the player movement, I mean that is what scared me away from the NHL, I have no idea who is on what team. Last night I was listening to an NBA game on the radio and I heard the announcer say the names of about 11 players: I knew all 11 guys, where they attended college, and their approximate year of graduation or entering the NBA, the only thing I couldn't tell you was what 2 teams were playing. Appearently it was the Milwaukee Bucks and some team in Charlotte called the Bobcats. I thought Charlotte had a team called the Hornets, and I thought they moved to New Orleans two years ago? Anyway, I will once again praise, well, ME. I picked Andre Kirilenko with the 5th overrall pick in my fantasy league. This guy is amazing, but I do not like the nickname AK 47, it just sounds dumb. Plus soon some anti gun toting asswipes are going to get a hold of the nickname and begin to protest Utah Jazz games, don't laugh it will happen. He should do public service announcements for the NRA. I am on a mission to have him called "The Assassin." An assassin can kill you in so many ways exactly what Andre does, Blocks, steals, boards, assists, whatever it takes he can get it done.
Finally, tonite I present you with an akward situation. Last night I am playing poker with this group of people whom I am at best aquaintences with. In fact I do not know some of their names. In the middle of playing a young woman walks into the house and we definately knew each other. Oh yeah, she was someone there's current girlfriend. However, her and I do have a
history together. We had been out a couple of times about a year and a half ago. Now I of course, buried my head and kept playing poker. I have no idea how long these two people have been together, but I was not about to ask. We just hooked up, nothing serious just a few random dates here and there. She played as if she had no idea who I was, which kind of gave me an
idea that I should do the same. It was akward for a few minutes but then I just pretended she was not there. All in all it was a good evening, I played pretty well and was not forced to puncture anyones lungs with a golf club.
Yasser Arafat is dead, and I could not be happier. There is no single person who has done more to hinder the abilty to make peace in the Middle East than the late Mr. Arafat. This fucking guy has a Nobel Peace Prize and Osama Bin Laden's mantle is empty? We need to get the Academy to rectify this situation. He bullied his way into power in the 1960's. In 1972 he
helped orchestrate the slaying of 11 Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics. He led numerous terrorist attacks on the people of Israel. There is no better news than this guy being dead. I know some say it may lead to more unrest, but could they find a bigger horses ass to run the Palestinian cause, I doubt it. Of course I am not sure that Arafat is dead yet. According to those in the Palestinian power structure Arafat was not sick at all when he was transferred to a French hospital. Just yesterday as reports of his declining health and impending death were surfacing, everything was fine, he was doing well. These Palestinian officials must have gone to the "Moham-med Saeed al-Sahaf School of Public Information & Journalism." For those who missed that joke, suck on it!!! Ding dong the Arafat is dead; Hussein is captured now all we
have to do is get Castro, Jong Il, and Rumsfeld out of power and peace will be ours.
Now let's get down to some serious business. Yup that's right, the Steve Spurrier rumors. For those not in Columbia, SC and only recently hearing about the rumors through ESPN you have missed out on 6 weeks of speculation and "inside source information." The internet has certainly changed our lives, and this Spurrier nonsense is a perfect example. Basically some
knuckleheads began rambling on about how we need Steve Spurrier to come to South Carolina and coach. Well once one guy runs with it, everyone has a cousin's neighbor's dog's past owner who once sold toiler paper to Ms. Spurrier when they lived in Durham while he was coaching Duke. It started out with him buying a house on Lake Murray here in Columbia (which would make very little sense since the school has a bought a house for the last 3 football coach's who have been hired here) and him openly lobbying for membership at Augusta National (President Hootie Johnson is a USC Alumn and good friend to Lou Holtz and AD Mike McGee). None of which is true. The internet speculation has picked up so much that some decision makers in the USC hierarchy thought it might be a good idea. So the fact is they have tried to contact Spurrier and his handlers, but that is as far as it goes. However, if you read the internet you would have found out that Holtz told his staff Wednesday night that he was retiring and that Spurrier was indeed going to take over. This internet has taken over this entire story. The fact is South Carolina has some appeal to Spurrier. Again, I am cautious to say it is a perfect fit for a few reasons; He is going to cost a great deal of money (upwards of 3 million) which is alot for a 60 yr old coach, secondly the reason he does not want to go back to Florida is because of the new school president who is a scholarly man and demands that his coach's and athletes are as well. Here at USC we also have a president who is not a fan of athletics as a whole, when we hired him away from Alabama the Crimson Tide athletic department had a party. Lastly, Spurrier hates recruting more than I hate white people. He would have to recruit his ass off in Columbia as opposed to Gainesville where you just take the recruit to one Wet T-Shirt contest and he is yours for life. Also the Ole Ball Coach has been known to change his mind; in 1995 he told the
Tampa Bay Bucs that he was their guy and then backed off and the same guy who told Dan Snyder thanks, but no thanks, then a day later called back and accepted the job. So please, let's all take it easy with the Steve Spurrier stuff. I still believe the perfect fit for him is at the University of Texas (just my hunch).
Have you people ever heard of this thing called the NBA? Of course you have, but much like voting for W or buying a Clay Aiken CD you all deny that you watch the association, but if someone started talking about it at the water cooler you would throw in your 763 cents. Yes the Associaion is our guilty sports pleasure, face it, it is fun to watch tall black guys dunk on other tall black guys, especially for small white guys who have no idea what a rim up close looks like (Darby, you not included I have seen your old ass get up for the downstroke). However, I find the major problem with pro hoops is now the player movement, I mean that is what scared me away from the NHL, I have no idea who is on what team. Last night I was listening to an NBA game on the radio and I heard the announcer say the names of about 11 players: I knew all 11 guys, where they attended college, and their approximate year of graduation or entering the NBA, the only thing I couldn't tell you was what 2 teams were playing. Appearently it was the Milwaukee Bucks and some team in Charlotte called the Bobcats. I thought Charlotte had a team called the Hornets, and I thought they moved to New Orleans two years ago? Anyway, I will once again praise, well, ME. I picked Andre Kirilenko with the 5th overrall pick in my fantasy league. This guy is amazing, but I do not like the nickname AK 47, it just sounds dumb. Plus soon some anti gun toting asswipes are going to get a hold of the nickname and begin to protest Utah Jazz games, don't laugh it will happen. He should do public service announcements for the NRA. I am on a mission to have him called "The Assassin." An assassin can kill you in so many ways exactly what Andre does, Blocks, steals, boards, assists, whatever it takes he can get it done.
Finally, tonite I present you with an akward situation. Last night I am playing poker with this group of people whom I am at best aquaintences with. In fact I do not know some of their names. In the middle of playing a young woman walks into the house and we definately knew each other. Oh yeah, she was someone there's current girlfriend. However, her and I do have a
history together. We had been out a couple of times about a year and a half ago. Now I of course, buried my head and kept playing poker. I have no idea how long these two people have been together, but I was not about to ask. We just hooked up, nothing serious just a few random dates here and there. She played as if she had no idea who I was, which kind of gave me an
idea that I should do the same. It was akward for a few minutes but then I just pretended she was not there. All in all it was a good evening, I played pretty well and was not forced to puncture anyones lungs with a golf club.
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