Wednesday, May 26, 2004

I hate The Real World, STILL!!!

For some reason I always pain myself and pay some attention to the current season of The Real World. I am not really gonna get to much into the problems with the title itself or the whole "reality TV" craze in this country. I will say that my real world revolves around paying bills, watching some TV, and going to work without the people I live with. Those are some fundamental problems I have with the show.

All that aside a friend of mine named Jeremy told me to pay attention to this years version because his friend was on the show and she had told him about the great time she had, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I have decided to watch and it is no different than any other season, I will break down the whole show for you:

Character 1: Some guy, he is cute guy and the girls love hime, but he has a serious girlfriend back home. He is everybody in the houses friend, which means to me you cannot trust this person. He is the guy who plays peacemaker all the time during the fights. In a fight you have to take a side pal, to quote Mr. Myagi "Walk on left side of road, SAFE, walk on right side of road, SAFE, walk in middle of road get squish like grape." I hate this person.

Character 2: The guy who is a dick and nobody seems to like, although they keep giving him chances. However, this person is usually disliked for the worng reasons, usually he has an opinion on something or a conviction about his beliefs and he always stays true to himself. While you can dislike this persons views, in the end more often than not this person will be the one who is most often successful in life, not just rehashing his reality TV career by being on real world/road rules challenge or inferno or whatever.

Character 3: The whore. This is the girl who you can pick out immediately and label her the slut. She knows she is one, and she knows that everyone in the house knows she is and her total whoreness always gets in the way of everything and ruins everyones time there.

Character 4: The wananbe whore. This is the girl, who is afraid of revealing to much herself, cause people don't know the real her or whatever. She really wants to be the whore, but she isn't. This one usually winds up getting with the asshole guy first and then settling with Mr. Peacemaker.

Character 5: The I am not a whore, whore. This is the really annoying girl. At first the girl who seems cool and you would love to hang out with and maybe even date and then her whoreness, but unwillingness to embrace her slutty ways like character 3, take over the entire show and causes every ounce of drama in the show. She usually wants to nail the Peacemaker when they first get there but then winds of meeting some guy at a bar while during the show, his name could be Chad or Chip or something like that and their relationship plays out the run of the show

Character 6: The other person, you watch the show about 2 years from now on a Real World marathon weekend and go oh yeah that guy/girl was on the show.

Please stop it with this nonesense, at it's core it is a terrific idea for a show but it has gone horribly wrong. It is kind of like Marxism, on paper it is a solid plan but stuck in the wrong peoples hands it leads to ultimate failure and death.

2 Comments:

Blogger John Chappell said...

Doesn't Sherhyar live with you?

11:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first season was the best. It was the best version of the Real World possible. MTV footed the bill and me and six other wannabe alternative lifestyle people that were all persuing careers dealing somewhat in entertainment were able to live rent free in a phat pad in NYC and persue our career goals.
Heather B was the black chick rapper girl, and i saw her on Rap City with Tigger a couple of months back.
Kevin, the upright black guy, was a contributing editor for Vibe or the Source or one of those black rap magazines with as many full page ads as a Cosmo issue
Not like I read Cosmo...
There was Julie, the professional dancer who was the only chick on the show worth a trip in the sack. Even if she made it big, who the hell would know because she wanted to be a professional dancer.
And I'm not talking about the ones at the Boom Boom Room that Slips so readily enjoys.
There was a gay white guy who dropped an album with his band. The strange white girl who I think was a red headed poet, but she didn't have a rack, so I was not about her.
And then there was me. I tried to screw Julie, then realized that MTV put me on the show for my looks and used them to my advantage, making a somewhat successful educational dance video tape.
Now if you'll excuse me, I've got another remake of Dance Club MTV to film for MTV Turkey
Eric Nyes - OUT

1:53 AM  

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